I was unemployed. My husband was unemployed. He was working 4 part-time jobs. I was looking. We had known that his job was being eliminated, but my job cut came out of the blue. Totally unexpected. We had a small emergency savings account. Both of our cars were paid off. But still we had some debt. We figured out a way to make our finances work, but things were tight.
After 3 months, I got a job. Not the job I wanted, but it was a job. I was making less than half of what I had been making. He was making less money, as well. We’ve never lived an extravagant lifestyle, but we quickly learned to live an even simpler life. Gone were the days of spending money on whatever we wanted. We had just enough money for our very tight budget.
On Fridays, we splurged and went out for pizza. A new pizza shop had opened up near our house, and they made the best cracker crust pizza. I love it when the edge of a good thin crust just crackles and falls apart on the first bite. We would pick up the pizza and take it to a park. As we ate at a picnic table, we watched young families play on the swings. Their lives seemed so carefree, when mine felt like it had fallen apart. Then we would walk over to the ice cream shop and get an ice cream cone. The butterscotch swirl was to die for! We were now ready for the weekend.
One thing that was always at the back of my mind during this period was “what if the best of our life has already happened. What if we never make as much money as we had been making before we lost our jobs. What if we can never retire.” What if. What if. What if. Could I be content with that? Could I be content with life as it was? Could I quit comparing what I didn’t have to what others had?
When everything we hold dear is threatened or gone, is God enough? Is God enough to give me a joyful life? A joyful attitude even if I didn’t know what the future looked like. When our comfort zone is no longer comfortable, is God enough?
Can I be content when life doesn’t give me everything I want? Can I continue to dream and be content, even if those dreams don’t come true? They weren’t big dreams, just dreams of more.
If I say God is number one in my life, do I mean it when he’s all I have? When everything else I’ve always wanted or had is gone, is God enough?
Is God enough only when our dreams come true? When we get that awesome job? When we have a certain amount of money in the bank? When we are finally able to buy our dream home? When we have that baby we’ve always wanted? When our debts are paid off? When our health is good? When our children make us proud?
What if those things never happen?
Will I allow God to fill the one big void in my life, when I’ve been filling it with so many other distractions? For so many years.
Today I think back on those days with fond memories. I don’t know what the future holds, but I know that
if when I go through another dark time that God will be with me. Even if life is bad, God is still good. Difficult circumstances don’t make me run from God. They make me run faster toward him.
I learned that God is enough. He is my pride and joy. He is the one I confide in, the one I trust completely. We’ve developed a close relationship, God and me. We walk and talk together each day. Sometimes his voice is loud and clear. Other times, I have to listen closely to hear it. If he’s all I have, if everything and everyone else I hold dear are gone, he will still be with me. Through thick and thin. Through good times and bad. He is enough.
My source of hope is Christ alone. The song “Bring the Rain” by MercyMe says it perfectly.