Running on Fumes

I can only imagine how Mary felt as she rode that donkey to Bethlehem. Hugely pregnant with a child she never planned to carry. Traveling with a husband she had never slept with. Now she was basically alone giving birth in a strange place without her mother and other women who knew about birthing babies. No baby shower to honor her and provide for the baby’s needs. No one to gently advise her on mothering and wifely duties. She was a woman without, yet she had all she needed. God was with her.

This year has been that type of year for many of us. We’ve lived alone in our own homes. Not allowed to freely live our lives. We wear masks in public. We’re advised to follow the guidelines, yet we see so many of our leaders freely breaking those guidelines when it suits their whims. We’re told we need to lockdown, yet the lockdown is pulling some people and businesses under without hope for survival.

In some states, churches aren’t allowed to meet in person. But you bet that riots welcome any and all unmasked activists with open arms. Indoor dining is banned in some states, unless you’re in a special class of people. Vaccines are being administered, but no one is satisfied with the priority of recipients. Life is turning out to be hard for so many of us who are accustomed to comfort and mild luxury. We have taken freedom and spontaneity for granted.

I’ve said it before, and apparently, I’m saying it again. This has been a tough year. For many reasons. For many people. In many ways.

For most of the pandemic, I’ve been handling things pretty well. Except for the fact that I’m working from home, my life really hasn’t changed. There have been times during the past nine months when I’ve realized I’m happiest when I’m at home. So working from home has been a great relief for me. My commute is non-existent. I haven’t seen the workplace drama queen since early March. I can use flex time each week. Life sometimes feels pretty good.

But then reality hits. Work demands take all the joy out of working from home. Unorganized and lazy coworkers make the job a lot harder than it should be. Management makes changes without vetting them and expects everyone to fall in line. Workers are expected to do more with less. And the list goes on.


You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! Trust in the Lord always, for the Lord God is the eternal Rock. Isaiah 26:3-4


People are on edge this year. For different reasons. Those who lost their jobs are fearful of what lies ahead. Those who are essential workers are running on fumes. And still more is expected.

 I am one of those essential workers. And for that I am grateful. I really am. No. I don’t work in healthcare, but I work with healthcare companies. And my work is never ending. Especially at this time of year. 

I so don’t want to complain. But today, enough is enough. 

I find I am easily annoyed at things I can normally brush off. I find anger bubbling when there’s no need. I find I need to slow my thoughts to find the true reason for my outbursts. I find I’m probably not the easiest to live with in these uncertain times.

I want to be kinder. I want to be patient. I want to hold close those I’m close to. And I find it’s a choice. I must search deep within to learn the reason I am so on edge. The findings aren’t comfortable, but growth never is. And I realize that comfort isn’t a necessity of life. But oh. How I wish it was. And I’m learning that comfort may be a thing of the past. Can I live with that?

I know that my true comfort is in the saving grace of the Lord Jesus Christ. He is with me in all my trials and troubles. He is with me when life doesn’t seem kind or fair. He is the great I Am. He is my protector and provider. He is with me always. Even to the ends of the earth.

The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go, both now and forever. Psalms 121:8

I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid. John 14:27

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