So I’m new to the area and I’ve attended the same church for the past three weeks. The first week, the only person who said hello was the greeter who held the door open as we walked in. No one else said a word. I guess that’s ok. I don’t really care to be in the spotlight. I did fill out a card with our contact information, but no one contacted us.
The next week, I had just pulled into a parking spot when someone stopped their vehicle in front of me. I was afraid they were going to tell me that I couldn’t park there, but no. The man leaned out his window and asked what kind of music the church sang. Was it contemporary or traditional? I told him that it was only my second week, and I gave him my view of the songs from the previous week. He asked what kind of preaching they had, so I told him it was very biblically sound preaching. And then he asked how old the person was who preached. So I gave him my guesstimate. He said that he was in town for a quick trip, so he thought he would pop in for the service.
We walked to the building together, and he said he was in town picking up a part he had ordered. He liked to visit different churches when he was in a new area and thought this might be a good one to check out. He asked if I was new in town or just church shopping. He said he thought my impression of the one service I had attended would be more accurate than someone who had attended for years. Perhaps he’s right.
We split up when we went inside. He went to find coffee, and I went to find a seat. Later, I saw him sitting a few seats behind me in the opposite section, coffee in hand. He seemed to be enjoying the worship. Then as the service was closing, I looked back to find his seat empty. Who knows. Maybe he wanted to get a head start back to his home. Or maybe he didn’t enjoy the Bible teaching that day. Perhaps he didn’t agree with my take on the church. We aren’t all looking for the same type of church service.
I’ll never see the man again. I don’t even know his name. All I know is that he had moved back to Illinois in retirement to be near his family, as I have. And like me, he grew up on a farm but in a different area of the state.
This man was the only person to speak to me at church the second time I attended. And he was a first time visitor.
Do to others as you would like them to do to you. Luke 6:31
I was anxious to see if anyone would acknowledge my existence on my third visit. And shazam. I walked in the door, and the greeter said hello. Then I found my seat and began to get comfortable. A gentleman walked up and introduced himself. We had a nice conversation. Then a woman sat down in the row in front of me. She turned around and introduced herself, and said she was trying to do better at speaking to people she didn’t know. We chatted for a bit. Later she introduced me to the woman who sat with her. All in all, I met three people that morning. I felt like a rock star.
I like the church. I enjoy most everything about their weekly service. I find it to be a reverent display of honoring God. The music isn’t too loud or obnoxious. The expository preaching is very spot on. There are multiple Scriptures and prayers offered throughout the service. I feel like this could be a good church home. Time will tell.
I’m not exactly sure what I expect from a new church. It would probably be wise to visit others before we decide to call one church home. And perhaps churches don’t act overly friendly the first few weeks because they don’t want to scare off newcomers. But when do they start being friendly? Should the visitor make the first move? Granted. I’m an introvert, so making the first move is not easy for me.
Or. Do most churches abide by the three week rule? No laying claim to the person until their third visit, because they may not be looking for a new church. Churches shouldn’t try to draft new people if they’re only visiting for just one week.
All I know is that I’ll find a church that fits what I’m looking for and then look to get involved in some way. It’s an intimidating sort of thing for an introvert to do. But I’ve done other scary things. I’ve walked into interviews not knowing the interviewer. I’ve started many first days on the job without knowing a soul. And I’ve always gotten to know people over time. Some are still dear friends to this day. So why should a new church be any different?
I guess the moral of my story is that people who’ve attended a church for a long time should welcome visitors and guests. Your kindness will go a long way in making a newbie feel comfortable and welcome. I’m preaching to myself here, because I’m not known for my welcoming ways with newcomers. As I said, an introvert doesn’t usually go out of their way to be the instigator of much of anything. But perhaps it’s time for change. Perhaps this new move will make this introvert overcome her quiet ways and start talking to strangers in safe places.
Mercy for the Day 