I recently attended a surprise party for a couple celebrating their seventieth wedding anniversary. Yes, seventy years of marriage. Can you imagine? I don’t mean that being married that long is horrible, but seventy years of anything is a long time. As I’m moving closer to seventy years of life, I understand that those coming behind me think I’m old. I don’t see it that way. I’m just older. Someday I’ll be old. I’m not sure yet what age that will be, but it will happen. Oh. I was recently told that I am old. By a cute, curly haired seven year old girl. So yeah. I get it. I probably remind her of her grandma. And that’s ok. And just this week, I was told by an eight year old boy that I was growing a beard. I did an internal eye roll and changed the subject.
I hear stories of young people complaining about situations that I have long abandoned. Work stress. Financial strain. Family troubles. And the list could go for miles. It’s not that my life is trouble free, but I’m no longer troubled by work issues. I’m constantly aware that financial loss is always a possibility, but I don’t sit and stew over it. My family troubles consist of hoping I don’t lose anyone else for a very long time. For all I know, I could be the next one to go.
And when I hear of the troubles of young families and middle agers, I sigh with relief that I’m older. I know that troubles come with any age, but I also know that most of them are only in our minds. It’s common to dream of an easier time in the future, especially when we’re young or stressed, but the here and now is what we have. We can’t dream our troubles away.
I recently watched the American Idol contestant, Hannah Harper, sing her original song “String Cheese.” She’s a young mom who suffered from postpartum depression and was fighting internally against the negativity of being a stay at home mom. One day, she realized that her ministry was right at that moment in her own home with two tiny babes. And now when she opens her child’s string cheese, she sees it as a blessing instead of a calamity. You can watch her audition here. This young woman has learned to be thankful for this time in her life, even the chaos of raising young children, because she knows that it won’t be too many years before her home is quiet. Life may not always be easy in the moment, but it can be fulfilling if we accept that we’re exactly where God has placed us and that he is with us in those chaotic times.
Listen to me, descendants of Jacob, all you who remain in Israel. I have cared for you since you were born. Yes, I carried you before you were born. I will be your God throughout your lifetime— until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you. Isaiah 46:3-4
But my mind goes back to that older couple celebrating seventy years of marriage. Oh sure. They were surprised by the small crowd that had gathered to celebrate their milestone. In the past few months, they’ve moved into an assisted living apartment. She now suffers from early onset dementia, and he has a long history of heart disease. But here they are. Still going. They were emotional at seeing family and old friends come to celebrate their lives. Their children, grandchildren and great grandchildren were in the room celebrating this well loved couple. I remember meeting them over forty years ago, and now they are advanced in years. Yes. Times does fly by quickly, even when you think it’s going slowly. The days are long. The years are short.
The wife’s only remaining sibling, a spry woman of ninety-eight sat next to her. I saw them sitting there reminiscing of younger days. Some may say that the elder years are the hardest, but they were enjoying that precious moment of just being together. And the ninety-eight year old? She wants to get a typewriter so she can write a book. You’re never too old to dream dreams and accomplish new things.
There’s a story in the Bible of an eighty year old man named Barzillai. He was a good and wealthy man who had provided for David at one point. David sought to repay him by bringing him to live in his courts. Barzillai said he was old and would only be a burden on the king. So he refused the honor of living out his final days with King David. He offered up his son to go in his place. Barzillai wanted to die in his old city. He knew his days were dwindling to an end, and he wanted to remain in his familiar setting. Nothing wrong with that.
Barzillai was a man of great wealth, and he wasn’t looking for a reward when he offered his goods to the king. He expected nothing in return. He had lived a full life and had the material wealth to show for it. He was looking for nothing more than to remain in his home until his last breath was taken. He needed no royal recognition. He had lived a good life. Later, when King David was dying, he made note that upon his death, the sons of Barzillai were to be well cared for.
None of us know the length of our days. The young have no idea how quickly their lives will pass by. Then once they’re old, they’ll realize how fleeting time really is. And they’ll reassess their lives. Just as Barzillai honored the king when he was called to do so, we must share of our excess when we’re presented with the needs of others. We may never see a reward for our good deeds, but that isn’t the point. We must live out our lives according to God’s plan and follow him until our dying breath. We will then be ushered into his presence where we will spend eternity.
You can read the story of Barzillai in 2 Samuel 19:31-40.
Many people today are opposed to letting their hair go the natural way of aging. They don’t want to seem old, so they cover their gray. I know I did it for years, but now I’ve gone natural. And it is a liberating feeling. No more coverups. Gray hair usually indicates a person has less time left on this earth than they have lived. Not always, but usually. Old age doesn’t make a person wiser or kinder, it only means they’ve lived longer. But if an older person has lived a godly life, then their longevity will be an honor.
Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained in a righteous life. Proverbs 16:31
To know that nothing happens in God’s world apart from God’s will may frighten the godless, but it stabilizes the saints. ~J.I. Packer
Mercy for the Day 