friends

Old Men in the Post Office

~ mercyfortheday ~ Leave a comment

In my small town, everyone has to pick up their mail at the post office. It isn’t delivered to our houses. It’s a bit inconvenient, but it’s also an acquired habit to go to the post office and possibly run into your neighbors. I once ran into the neighbor across the street whom I’ve never met. She didn’t acknowledge me, so I didn’t say anything, either. She might not have even recognized me. I barely recognized her, because I had only seen her from a distance. However, I did recognize her car.

But earlier this week, I walked into the post office and almost ran into two older gentlemen who were standing inside the door carrying on a lengthy conversation. They actually knew each other and were happily conversing. Of course. They were standing in the way of anyone trying to enter or exit the building, but they didn’t seem to mind. They did step out of the way when I opened the door, but they kept right on chatting.

Further inside the building, another older gentleman was in deep conversation with the post mistress. And that woman. She knows everyone. She’s been sorting the mail for our small town for many years. She’s now close to retirement age, but she tells me that she has no plans to retire. She likes her job and loves keeping up with the towns folk. She can even recite my mailbox number when she sees me. I’m sure she can do that for most people who come through the door. I tell myself that because I hate to think that she’s got my number memorized because I get so many packages. But regardless of the reason, she can look at me and quote my po box number by heart.

I wonder just how many conversations between old timers goes on in that post office every day. I mean. If you want to get your mail, you have to stop by and go inside. It’s fairly often that I run into someone on my way in or out. Not always, but a lot of times. I just don’t know the people because I haven’t lived here that long. Most of these people seem to be lifetime residents, so they know others in our small out of the way town.

Since I moved here a year ago, I’ve had opportunity to meet many new people. When we decided to uproot our lives, we knew that we would walk away from friendships of many years. We knew that we would need to set down roots in a community of fellow believers and become part of that fellowship. And that’s what we’ve been doing since the moment we moved in. Has the effort been successful? At times, it seems so. Other times, we see that there is still room for improvement. We realize at this age, people have already built deep long lasting relationships and aren’t necessarily looking for more. They’ve found their people. And it’s been obvious. But there are some who have reached out the hand of friendship, and for that we’re thankful.

Since we live in a rural area of small towns, most people know and are known by many others in the community. It’s obvious, and I think that’s great. But I’ve also found that while many are friendly, they don’t reach out to become friends. It’s an interesting phase of life to be in and it’s sometimes a bit unsettling. But it’s the life we’re living, and we don’t look back. Oh. I’m not complaining. I’m just stating facts. It’s a good lesson to me, the biggest introvert on earth, that I need to be more friendly and do my part about reaching out to newbies. They too may be looking for a new friend.

And may the Lord make your love for one another and for all people grow and overflow, just as our love for you overflows. 1 Thessalonians 3:12

It seems that we all need to get out of our comfort zones and reach out to others. You may not think you need a new friend, but someone else may be looking for one. It could be you who’ll fit the bill of friend in their lives, and it never hurts to stretch ourselves and meet someone new. We get so stuck in our comfortable lives that we don’t think about others needing others. We are relieved that our friendship list is full, so we stop looking for new friends. We stop welcoming others into our circle. And heaven forbid that we get to know the new people. Comfort is safety for us. And we are good about avoiding uncomfortable situations.

So. Here’s the challenge. Move out of your comfort zone and get to know others. Say hi. Extend a friendly welcome to someone you don’t know. Actually chat with them. Find some common ground. Extend a hand of friendship and follow up the next time you see them. You could make someone’s day just with a short conversation. And then do the next hard thing. Invite them to join you for coffee. Or lunch. They may just be the new friend you didn’t know you needed. Always be willing to make room for one more in your circle. You’ll be surprised how much fuller your life will be.

Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near. Hebrews 10:24-25

Work at living in peace with everyone, and work at living a holy life, for those who are not holy will not see the Lord. Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many. Hebrews 12:14-15

Be careful then, dear brothers and sisters. Make sure that your own hearts are not evil and unbelieving, turning you away from the living God. You must warn each other every day, while it is still “today,” so that none of you will be deceived by sin and hardened against God. For if we are faithful to the end, trusting God just as firmly as when we first believed, we will share in all that belongs to Christ. Hebrews 3:12-14

As believers, we really do need each other. We need to do life together. Oh sure. It’s great to have food and fellowship with each other. But what about accountability and discipleship? We need that, too. We need others to listen to our concerns and hear our prayer requests. We need to have others pray for us and we need to pray for them. We need to study the Bible together and hash out what God is saying to us today. We must ask the uncomfortable questions and sometimes receive uncomfortable answers. We must walk the road of life with people who will sharpen us and point us to a closer walk with Christ. We’re not meant to walk this path of life alone. So. Open the door to that new friendship. Your life and theirs will be enriched.

I’m so thankful for the one who invited me to their small group last year. It’s a great group of godly people who have been very welcoming to a couple of newbies. I’m thankful for all of them.

As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. Proverbs 27:17

Keeping Busy

~ mercyfortheday ~ Leave a comment

It’s been a year now since we signed on the dotted line for this retirement home. And we couldn’t be happier. Life is good. Oh. There have been adjustments all right. The man of the house lived in our former state for ten months before joining me full time in retirement. Now he’s busy taking care of projects around the house. He’s still adjusting to not having a strict schedule, but he’ll get there. It just takes time.

Looking back to my working years, I can now see how I never had time to do much of anything but work. But then, that seems to be the way the system is made. Forty hours of work each week leaves precious little time for much of anything else. Oh. We all try to squeeze in as much life as we can into those evening and weekend hours, but they’re never enough. And a few weeks vacation plus holidays sure don’t go far enough to ease the stress of a heavy workload.

But this year of not working has taught me something. I really enjoy having that extra forty hours in my week. I sure seem to find enough to keep myself busy. Sure. There are times I’m doing nothing. But there are days when I have a full schedule. Now. My full schedule doesn’t look the same as it did in the past. My day doesn’t start as early and it isn’t as rushed. I don’t always have places to go and people to see. But that’s just fine. I like it that way.

Here’s what I do know. In retirement, we can’t just sit around in our recliner and do nothing. Oh sure. I imagine that as old age creeps in, we’ll slow down. At some point, physical ailments and health problems will slow down some activities. But until those things begin to happen on a regular basis, we need to be active. We need to move our bodies and our brains. We need to engage in meaningful conversations with others, young and old. We need to volunteer and give back time to others who don’t have the time. We can start hobbies we never had time for when we were working.

At this point, I’ve discovered that retirement is a very enjoyable period of life. I hadn’t really thought much about what my retirement would look like, but I’m liking it. Over the past few months, I’ve begun walking most mornings. And I’ve become a pickleball player. I’m involved in a small group Bible study at church, and I’m starting to volunteer with the midweek children’s program. Oh. I don’t know the two people I’ve been assigned to work with. I don’t know the kids. I only know two people who are involved with the entire program, so I’m a little unsettled. But I’ll find my way. Does it make me nervous to get out of my comfort zone? Absolutely. Does it stop me? Absolutely not.

Whatever you do, do well. For when you go to the grave, there will be no work or planning or knowledge or wisdom. Ecclesiastes 9:10

And the man of the house? He’s getting involved with a couple of men’s groups at church. One group meets for coffee early one morning each week. Oh. It’s a social group, but they’re building relationships and that’s mighty important. He’s also joined the men’s Bible study group that meets once a week. And he’s volunteering with another group to build beds for kids who don’t have one.

This man of mine. He’s also helping the next door neighbor burn down their huge brush pile. He says he likes to burn things, but he also has a huge heart for helping others. And he’s putting that gift to good use. Oh. He comes in the house sweaty and exhausted, but he’s doing a good deed for others who are still working fulltime. Every little bit of help makes a difference.

Here’s the thing I’ve learned. It’s easy to get into a rut and never do anything that challenges me. I could sit in my easy chair all day and scroll on my phone or laptop. I could easily sit and read all day. I could complain that I don’t know very many people in this new place that I willingly moved to. I could just do nothing. But that’s not what God has called me to do. I’m still healthy. I’m still active enough that I can help others and I can also have fun. And there are days that I don’t do much of anything. My goal is to accomplish one thing each day, large or small. At least one thing.

I’ve met a couple of people who moved to the area in the past few years, and they’ve told me that they don’t know anyone. Their method of meeting others is working out at the fitness center. But I wonder just how many people they meet there? Most people go there to work out, not to be social. I take it that they don’t attend church or volunteer anywhere. That would be a depressing way to grow old. Never meeting anyone or doing anything. Just sitting all day. I can’t do that. At least, not at this point.

It takes courage to get out of your comfort zone. And I’ve found that even though the nervousness comes around, it won’t kill me. I’m not doing anything dangerous. I’m just getting involved so I can stay active, meet others and build lasting relationships. I plan to grow old in this place. I don’t want to spend my final years complaining because I don’t know anyone when I haven’t done anything to meet others. So I’m putting myself in uncomfortable situations and plowing through that discomfort. Someday I’m sure I’ll see the bright side of my efforts.

Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, and that the Master you are serving is Christ. Colossians 3:23-24

Name Your Friends

~ mercyfortheday ~ Leave a comment

The importance of having a network of fellow Christian friends is so obvious in today’s environment. As noted in Paul’s letter to the church in Rome, he had close ties to believers in the cities where he had preached. This wasn’t a coincidence. This was intentional, because he needed fellowship and encouragement with people who had common beliefs and interests. When he was discouraged, his friends would encourage him and vice versa. Honestly, it can be lonely to be in a church and have no friends.

Who do you turn to when you need advice? Do you turn to friends who have no biblical foundation, or do you turn to those who can lead you closer to Christ? Do your friends believe in Jesus Christ? Are they faithful followers and seeking God’s will in their lives? Will they hold you accountable when necessary, and will you do the same for them? If you want to grow your faith, look for people who are likeminded.

There are ways to grow friendships with fellow believers, and none of them can be accomplished if we sit at home crying alone. Oh. There may be times when crying alone is called for, but it won’t help develop long lasting friendships. But there are also times when you may need a shoulder to cry on, or someone may need you to shoulder their burden. Stay grounded in the Bible, so you’re well-fed enough that you can speak truth and love to others.

Attend church regularly and get involved. Consider discipling other believers in the church. If your gift is teaching, lead a Bible study. Train others to read the Bible and how to study it. Join a book study that offers sound Biblical teaching. Join the church volleyball league or any other group that interests you. Invite others to your home for dinner or coffee.

Don’t be discipled by social media influencers. They could lead you astray, if you aren’t grounded in the Word of God. As you get better acquainted with fellow believers, allow those with more biblical maturity and wisdom to mentor you. Don’t be afraid to ask someone to help guide you through a difficult phase of life. You never know when the opportunity will come full circle, and you’re on the giving end of godly advice.

For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them. Matthew 18:20

Paul didn’t stay at home long. He traveled the world sharing God’s message. He had the opportunity to meet many people and witness their conversion to faith in Jesus Christ. Not only did he live and work with them, he spent months on end building into their lives. He discipled new believers, so they would have a strong faith when he wasn’t with them. He also kept up to date on the happenings of the churches and of his faithful friends. Paul was a true friend and discipler of other believers. Can I say the same of myself?

The first friend Paul mentions in a long list of friends as he closes the book of Romans is Phoebe, who lived in Cenchrea and was enroute to Rome. Perhaps she carried the letter to the Roman church. Priscilla and Aquila were close friends and fellow tent makers who had been deported by the Roman officials because they were Jews. They had landed in Corinth, Greece where Paul first met them, but were eventually able to return to Rome.

Epenetus was one of Paul’s first converts in Achaia, and he was a beloved friend. Paul mentions several other friends he identified as hard workers for the church.

Two highly respected men, Andronicus and Junia, were fellow Jews who had been in prison with Paul. They had become followers of Christ before Paul did, and were also willing to lay down their lives and livelihoods in order to spread the gospel message.

Urbanus was a co-worker in Christ, and Stachys was a dear friend. Apelles, was a good man approved by Christ. Aristobulus held church meetings in his home. Herodion was another fellow Jew. The household of Narcissus was occupied by followers of Christ. Tryphena, Tryphosa and Persis worked hard for the Lord. Rufus was chosen by the Lord to be his own, and Paul was close enough to his mother to call her his own.

Paul also lists multiple believers who met in other home churches. They too were faithful followers of his teachings of Jesus Christ. And he called them friend.

Greet Ampliatus, my dear friend in the Lord. I commend to you our sister Phoebe, who is a deacon in the church in Cenchrea. Welcome her in the Lord as one who is worthy of honor among God’s people. Help her in whatever she needs, for she has been helpful to many, and especially to me. Give my greetings to Priscilla and Aquila, my co-workers in the ministry of Christ Jesus. In fact, they once risked their lives for me. I am thankful to them, and so are all the Gentile churches. Also give my greetings to the church that meets in their home. Greet my dear friend Epenetus. He was the first person from the province of Asia to become a follower of Christ. Give my greetings to Mary, who has worked so hard for your benefit. Greet Andronicus and Junia, my fellow Jews, who were in prison with me. They are highly respected among the apostles and became followers of Christ before I did. Greet Urbanus, our co-worker in Christ, and my dear friend Stachys. Greet Apelles, a good man whom Christ approves. And give my greetings to the believers from the household of Aristobulus. Greet Herodion, my fellow Jew. Greet the Lord’s people from the household of Narcissus. Give my greetings to Tryphena and Tryphosa, the Lord’s workers, and to dear Persis, who has worked so hard for the Lord. Greet Rufus, whom the Lord picked out to be his very own; and also his dear mother, who has been a mother to me. Give my greetings to Asyncritus, Phlegon, Hermes, Patrobas, Hermas, and the brothers and sisters who meet with them. Give my greetings to Philologus, Julia, Nereus and his sister, and to Olympas and all the believers who meet with them. Romans 16:1-15

In total, Paul listed by name twenty-seven people who were his friends. He generously complimented his friends and built them up. These individuals lived notable lives and were worthy friends of this man Paul who had once hunted and imprisoned Christians. He was a trusted man, and he had developed many close friendships throughout his years of travel and ministry. These people he listed are real people. Most likely, they are commonplace people trying to earn an honest living, and they’ve accepted the call to follow the Savior that Paul preached to them.

We too can have a long list of friends if we consistently cultivate new relationships. If we read closely Paul’s descriptions of his friends, we will note that they aren’t all extremely close friends. But they are notable enough to deserve a greeting. As with Paul, not all our friendships will be extremely close. That’s not the point. While it’s important to have a close circle of trusted friends and advisors, we still need a broader range of friendships with people who have various gifts and abilities. It’s never too late to add a new name to your list.

Peace or Sword

~ mercyfortheday ~ Leave a comment

There they were. Sitting around the table. Thirteen of them. One was the leader. Jesus Christ, the Son of God. The other twelve were hand picked by Jesus to share his message with the world. They were gathered to observe the Passover meal. And as he broke the bread, Jesus said it was given in remembrance of his body. They drank the wine together, for it was the last time Jesus would partake of it with them.

Then he took a cup of wine and gave thanks to God for it. Then he said, “Take this and share it among yourselves. For I will not drink wine again until the Kingdom of God has come.” He took some bread and gave thanks to God for it. Then he broke it in pieces and gave it to the disciples, saying, “This is my body, which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” Luke 22:17-19

After the meal, Jesus raised another toast and proclaimed the cup was the new covenant between God and his people. He confirmed that his blood would be spilled as a sacrifice for all people. Yet the disciples didn’t understand the veiled truth that Jesus was speaking. Oh. He often spoke in parables. Later he would offer explanations of the parables to his chosen twelve. But on this night. On this occasion, Jesus was preparing them for the suffering that lay ahead for him when he walked out the door.

Not everyone is ready for truth when it is spoken, so it is unclear. Truth, at times, is unclear because of unbelief, fear or misunderstanding.

Jesus went on to tell them that one of them sitting at the table would turn against him. This man would turn Jesus over to the authorities. And this act of betrayal would propel Jesus down a path of no return. Oh. He knew it would happen. He was, after all, God Incarnate. He was God in human form come to die a brutal death for the sins of all mankind. And this was the moment. And yet. As he sat there with the twelve, knowing that one would betray him, he offered the cup of wine to everyone. He didn’t share it with only the eleven who would remain faithful until death. He also offered it to the one who had already made arrangements to sell him out. Yet he didn’t speak the man’s name. And the remaining group was unaware of their friend’s impending betrayal. Nor the cost of it for all seated at that table. They had no idea what lay ahead for them even that very night.

But here at this table, sitting among us as a friend, is the man who will betray me. For it has been determined that the Son of Man must die. But what sorrow awaits the one who betrays him.” The disciples began to ask each other which of them would ever do such a thing. Luke 22:21-23

As plans were being put in motion to celebrate the Passover meal, Jesus could have uninvited this one man. He could have offered the man a reason to excuse himself from the dinner. But he didn’t. This man. One of the twelve, chosen specifically by Jesus, would betray him with a kiss in front of the others. His fellow disciples. No one knew he was planning to abdicate his position. Imagine how the eleven felt seeing their brother betray the man they followed and believed. Yet here he was. Kissing Jesus on the cheek to show the authorities and soldiers who had come to make an arrest. He was a traitor and his closest group of friends suddenly saw him in a new light. And it wasn’t a pretty sight.

Sure. It’s obvious that Satan had planted the seed of betrayal in Judas’s heart. There’s no other way to explain it. Judas was the treasurer of the group. So he held all the money. Perhaps he had delved into the funds on different occasions to make his life easier. After all. They didn’t get a paycheck from Jesus. Their loyalty was on them. And a group of donors helped fund their travels. This was not a paying gig. In spite of the fact that Jesus knew in advance that he would be betrayed, he ate the last supper with his traitor. And he loved him still. He was willing to give his life for even back stabbers. Because some backstabbers do repent.

But this traitor. He was hiding in plain sight of the Savior of the world. Oh. Jesus hadn’t been crucified and risen from the dead yet. But Judas traveled with Jesus and the other eleven. He was a follower of the Way. He believed Jesus was the Messiah. But yet. His humanity was evident in the way he conducted business. He was known to pilfer money from the group’s funds. He helped himself to cash when he ran short. Oh. It must not have bothered him. And there’s no evidence that any of the group were aware of his theft. So no one ever confronted him on it.

We’ve all heard the saying. Keep your friends close. Keep your enemies closer. But that only applies if we recognize the enemy. What if we don’t realize the enemy is in such close quarters? It isn’t even a fair fight. But not all fights are fair.

Don’t imagine that I came to bring peace to the earth! I came not to bring peace, but a sword. Matthew 10:34

So why should we expect any different in our circle of friends?  Why should we expect those closest to us to stand with us when we stand for truth?  Why should we expect allegiance and support when we don’t know the other person’s heart?  We see what they want us to see.  And the reverse is also true. How can we support someone close to us when we disagree with them?  How do we maintain that close relationship when it’s been fractured by disappointment and disbelief?  When trust has been shattered, how do we move forward in the relationship? 

Who sits at the table of fellowship with us?  There may be ones at the table who have turned their allegiance to another.  They may no longer be in a position of agreement on key issues.  They may offer betrayal when least suspected.  Are there any red flags?  Or are we too blind to even consider we’re close to being betrayed?  And then once the traitor has been exposed, what comes of the relationship? 

As believers, we can expect to be fired upon by Satan. We need to know that he will use all his evil ways to lure us away from faith in Christ. When he successfully uses these same tricks on our loved ones, the fallout can be enormous. He will use his wiles against everything we stand for. And everything we hold dear. Even at the expense of relationships and close ties to others. Sometimes the relationships that are severed are the ones we thought would stand the test of time. And then when testing comes, cracks in the relationship appear. At times, there are permanent consequences. Are we ready for that? Do we know who is sitting at the table with us? Of course. It’s impossible for humans to know the full extent of someone else’s intents and purposes. So we must always be careful listeners and godly examples. We must always be fully dressed in the armor of God. We must be peacemakers even when being obedient to the Word of God causes division.

Oh.  Jesus was God come to earth as man.  So he knew the hearts of the men celebrating the Passover meal with him.  He knew one would betray him.  He knew another would deny knowing him, not once, but three times before the rooster crowed.  And he knew that every man sitting there at the table would desert him that very night.  Yet he chose to eat with them.  He broke the bread and drank the wine with this group of disciples.  Knowing all the while that in a few hours he would be standing alone. It’s easy to walk away from friends when they’ve hurt us. But Jesus knew his group of rugged disciples would turn away before they even committed the acts. And he still sat and served them. Knowing the hurt and aloneness he would face in his final hours. Would we do the same for those who will turn against us in our greatest moment of need?

Do you think I have come to bring peace to the earth? No, I have come to divide people against each other! From now on families will be split apart, three in favor of me, and two against—or two in favor and three against. ‘Father will be divided against son and son against father; mother against daughter and daughter against mother; and mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.’ Luke 12:51-53

Of This I’m Certain

~ mercyfortheday ~ Leave a comment

We quickly became friends. We bonded over the complexity and unfamiliarity of a new job. We weren’t sure we would survive the training. It was so intense. We struggled together. Each encouraging the other when we struggled. We worked together for six months. She found something new. Something more suited to her strengths. So she moved on. Just knowing she won’t walk through the door again makes me sad. I walk past her empty office longing to see her. To stop and chat. A new person will soon take her place. Life goes on. But those memories of our time together will live strong.

I know one who won’t leave me when times get tough.
Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever. 
Of this I’m certain.

I think of another dear friend. She has faced tough times. Many tough times. But her faith in God has not wavered. I value her friendship more than I can say. Our bond has held strong through many years of separation. Our work brought us together. Then a move separated us. We met while young. Many years have passed. But I remember the many meaningful conversations. There was a time when I thought I would never see her again this side of heaven. Now we live nearby. Work nearby. We’ve picked up where we left off. It feels so good.

No matter where my path may lead, I have One who walks with me. One who will never leave my side. Of this I’m certain. 

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. Ecclesiastes 4:9

There’s another friend who has my heart. She has faced loss time and time again. But God has provided the desires of her heart. She listens when he speaks to her. And he does. She speaks words of truth and faith to me. Right when I need it. She encourages me. She prays for me. She is a true friend.

Some friendships are for a season. Others are for life. But with each friendship, there are new learnings. New experiences. New challenges. When does trust set in? Who will open up first? Who will disappoint first?
Friendships are necessary for a good life. True friends build up the other. Support the other. Correct the other. Speak words of truth without fear.

Good friends are hard to find. You never know when one will cross your path. I find that I must always be open to that new person I meet. They may become a new close friend.

Common bonds are so important. And sometimes rare. When you connect with that one special someone, hold on and make that friendship count. Put in the work to build that relationship. Sacrifice. Get real and share. Dare to trust. Have fun. Through the good times and the bad, be the friend. Don’t give up. 

There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Of this I’m certain.