self control

Poor Customer Service

~ mercyfortheday ~ Leave a comment

I had an experience in the past couple of weeks where I felt my husband and I received poor customer service. And honestly. It was no fault of ours. The salesperson was new to her job, but she had been doing similar work for years. That means she should have been well informed about the information we were discussing. The only part of her job that was new and unfamiliar was the company she now worked for. And her surroundings were different. I’m sure the commute to work was different. But the work was the same.

However. When this individual realized the product we were looking for was not her preferred product, she got all flustered. In her previous employment, she was responsible for selling her preferred product, which is similar but not identical to what we wanted. And she voiced her frustrations to us. She said she didn’t want to work with the product we were looking for. It was too hard. And then she entered my date of birth incorrectly into the website. When the error was discovered, it was too late to update it. She would need to make a call to another company the next day to make the change. Because it was the end of the workday and she had another client waiting, she didn’t have time to even begin work on my husband’s information. She said she would call us the next day to complete the work.

She didn’t call the next day. And then it was the weekend. She didn’t call on Monday, so I left a voicemail for her. No call on Tuesday, so I sent her an email. You see. We’re on a strict deadline, and we don’t want to wait until the last possible minute to complete this enrollment. Time is ticking by. She finally called us back eight days after our initial meeting. Oh. She apologized profusely. And then she started working on my husband’s information.

All was going well until she hit the enter button to complete his enrollment. She received an error message and didn’t know how to correct what shouldn’t have been an error. Honestly. This time, the mistake wasn’t her fault. Nor was it ours. But it was too late in the day on a Friday to call someone somewhere else to correct the problem. So once again, we’re waiting. And time is still ticking by.

Oh. There is much more to the story that I could share. There were several more missteps on her part that I just won’t go into. I just won’t. I don’t want to nitpick over words and incomplete training or frustrations, but it was frustrating. To say the least. To say that she was ill prepared for our appointment and seemed to have little regard for details is an understatement. On my end, I had thought of contacting her manager to discuss the situation. But I kept stalling. Now I’m glad I did, because when she finally returned my call and was able to finalize my situation she was very pleasant. But does that make all the other words and attitudes on her end null and void?

It isn’t my goal in life to cause someone to get in trouble at work, but I did see several opportunities for improvement at that workplace. I guess I’ll not share those thoughts at this time. I really don’t want to be seen as a troublemaker. But I do expect a salesperson to be ready to sell all the products their company offers. Isn’t the customer always right? I recall that motto being thrown around a lot in the past.

As I’m writing this, I just hung up the phone with this particular salesperson who thought she had fixed the remaining problem. And the problem was fixed. But when we received the information for one final review, there were two huge outstanding errors. We were told it was the other company, not our salesperson, who had entered the information incorrectly. After all the hassles we’ve been through with this person, we didn’t really believe her. It just didn’t ring true. But we could be wrong. And we’re still waiting for resolution.

So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you. Matthew 7:12

I have to ask myself. What do I expect of myself in that situation? How should I respond when I’m on the receiving end of someone else’s bad day or incompetence? Do I exhibit the love of Christ? Or do I stir up even more anxious thoughts and feelings in them by calling out their mistakes? When is it appropriate to share my concerns with their manager, and when should I be silent about such matters? I need to make sure my attitude reflects the attitude of Christ at all times.

How should a Christian respond when they’re on the receiving end of poor service?

First of all, I’m not sure the salesperson had a full understanding of what to say and what not to say to her clients. She didn’t filter her words, which could have gotten really ugly if we had gone down that path. As Christians, we don’t have to start the fight. We need to know when it is appropriate to confront the misbehavior and ill spoken words and when not to. Basically, we need to choose our battles. That doesn’t mean we should never speak up about any mistreatment.

Being the recipients of inexcusable behavior allows people of faith to show the love of God. We can display godly actions and words while presenting the truth. Oh. It may not be easy in the heat of the moment, but we can exhibit kindness and speak correction all in the same breath. We have to stop and ask ourselves if we really care about the person who’s been poorly trained or having a bad day. If we were in their shoes, would we act any differently than they are? And we have to remember that they too were made in the image of God and are loved by him just as we are. But God is a God of justice, not just of love.

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. James 1:19-20

And another thing. We shouldn’t keep score. Oh. We may have to recite all the wrongs committed against us when we report inappropriate behavior, but we can’t hold a grudge or try to even the score. We always have the option not to do business with that individual or company again and part ways amicably.

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

But our story isn’t over, and the problem still isn’t solved. We’re still waiting to hear back from her, but she’ll be on vacation during Thanksgiving week. I just have to roll my eyes and sigh at this point.

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters. Colossians 3:23

Pickleball Mafia

~ mercyfortheday ~ Leave a comment

So I’ve joined the world of pickleball. And I’ve discovered that I like it. It’s fun. It gets me moving. I try to play once a week. I’m a beginner, but I’m seeing improvement in my game. So I think there’s hope. Oh. Not that I’ll ever be a professional or play in a tournament. Nothing like that. That’s not my goal. But it’s nice to get in an outdoor aerobic workout on a sunny day. It feels good to move around and hit the ball. And I’ve met some new people.

We’re a group of six to eight retirees who met at our pickleball lessons in April. We’re all at the same beginner level and have continued to meet after we completed the four-week class. Some of us have moved to the area in the last few years and others are long-time residents. We’re there to have fun and get a little exercise. So far it’s working.

There is one in our group who told me in front of the group that I needed to correct my serve. I kindly let her know that my serving style was completely legal in the world of pickleball. I could have pointed her biggest flaw out to her, which has to be obvious to the entire group. She doesn’t like to move, so she stands in one spot and never goes out of her way to hit the ball if it’s not directly in her path. And she calls the ball out too many times when her opponents can’t see if it really is in or out. We’re all beginners and have much room for improvement, so let’s be kind and gracious to each other.

We play at the courts in a public park. There are eight courts in this particular park and are open to the public. They’re free of charge and can’t be reserved. It’s first come, first serve. If you’ve been playing for an hour and there are groups waiting, then you must step aside to allow others a chance to play. Sounds harmless. Right? Right.

I’ve been informed by others who are more knowledgeable about these things that there are groups of pickleballers who take the game very seriously. I mean. They’re serious about their pickleball. I think our group has recently run into such a group. We were informed by a member of said group that they use four of the courts for advanced players and the other four for those less experienced. And then after each game, they rotate to play with different players in their set of four courts. And they also use a specific color of ball so they know who is in their group. It was subtly suggested to our group that we follow their rules. Really?

It seems that some in our group were willing to abide by this other group’s rules, but a couple of us were dead set against it. I reminded our group that we are playing at a public park where courts can’t be reserved. We play at our leisure and abide by the park’s rules and regulation pickleball rules. No one else’s. So, to back up my stand on the issue, I called the park district and talked through the situation with someone a few days later. When I explained our dilemma and provided all the details, I let the gentleman know that my goal wasn’t to cause trouble but to get the facts straight. He informed me that he knew exactly who I was talking about. Apparently, this group I call the pickleball mafia have done the same thing to other groups. He said he would speak to them.

And one in their group walked over to our group in the midst of our game and gave us a playing tip. Oh. She was polite, but it felt intrusive. Who does that? And a member of our group actually recognized her and called her by name. Then she was forced to acknowledge the relationship. How odd.

And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father. Colossians 3:17

Oh. I know. It’s just a game. That’s right. It is. And we want it to stay that way.

So. The question is this. How do we get along with others who try to manipulate us? How do we work with someone who tries to one-up us? Here’s the catch with that type of scenario. The more you give in to them, the more they’ll try to take. And how do you ever get back to the way things should have been, in the first place? It’s an age old dilemma.

Not a single person on earth is always good and never sins. Don’t eavesdrop on others—you may hear your servant curse you. For you know how often you yourself have cursed others. Ecclesiastes 7:20-22

At the same time, we don’t have to be a doormat and let others walk all over us. We should stand up for what we know is right and true and good. Fairness never grows old. And as Christians, how do we deal with situations where others are trying to exert more control than they really have? How do we kindly and Christianly stand up for ourselves without insulting others?

The Word of God offers so much wisdom on dealing with others and with how to navigate difficult situations. We must live wisely, because not everyone we meet is a believer. Not everyone is looking out for the best interests of others. As Christ followers, we must stand apart and be a godly example in our conduct and our speech. We can’t allow Satan to lead us down the path of ungodly behavior. And we can’t just look away and accept unacceptable behavior.

Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone. Colossians 4:5-6

We’re also told in the books of Romans that we can’t repay someone when they plan evil against us. We must do what is right in the eyes of everyone, because along with everyone else, God is also watching. And as far as it depends on us, we must live at peace with everyone. That is a tall order, it may seem, especially in certain situations. But when the other party is set on evil, we set our eyes on eternity and act accordingly. We must seek peace and pursue it, but not at the cost of accepting evil standards.

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. Romans 12:17-19

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. Colossians 3:12-15

As we pursue Christ, let’s remember to keep a sharp mind, a soft heart and thick skin.

Alisa Childers

The Act of Falling

~ mercyfortheday ~ Leave a comment

He was stirring up a batch of brownies when I walked into the kitchen. I quietly patted myself on the back for planning ahead for him and having the mix on the shelf. He likes to snack at night and I had purchased the brownie mix and stored it for a time when he was ready. Tonight was the night.

I watched him pour the mix into a small pan. He realized he would have batter left over, so I pulled out another small pan to use. I mean. He was planning to pour out the batter that wouldn’t fit in his pan. No. I said. Put it in a second pan and bake it for later. I’m sure you’ll eat all the brownies. No, I won’t. He said.

It got me thinking. As I sat there smelling the scent of baking brownies, my mind hatched a plan. I could have a brownie tonight. Just one. I told myself. So when he pulled the brownies out of the oven, I told him that I would eat a brownie out of my pan. The smaller pan that somehow became the pan of brownies that I saved.

And there began my downfall.

As I cut into my brownies, I saw that he had cut a very small piece out of his batch. Since my pan was smaller, I decided it was the right size for four brownies. So I cut a piece out of the pan. As I ate the brownie, I realized it needed to cool a little longer. It was too warm and didn’t give me the satisfaction I was hoping for. I prefer my brownies at room temperature. But I was too greedy to wait for them to cool. As I ate it, I decided I would need another brownie that was cooled. After all, it would taste better than a warm one.

So I waited.

Then I ate a second brownie. Since I prefer the edges and the second brownie was a middle, I wasn’t satisfied. Of course, it had two edges, but it didn’t suit me. So I ate another. The third brownie was on the other end of the pan, so it was surrounded by three edges. Almost perfection.

A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls. Proverbs 25:28

Here I was three brownies into a pan of four brownies. I hadn’t planned on eating brownies tonight. I hadn’t even though of brownies until I saw him open the package. And then I was hooked. My desire went down a path I didn’t even try to avoid.

Later in the evening when he saw how many I had eaten, he was shocked. He said I may as well eat the last brownie and be done. So I did. And just like that I had eaten an entire small pan of brownies.

The thing is. They weren’t really that great. Oh. They were the brand I had always bought. But I’ve changed the way I eat, and I no longer eat processed food. Until I do. And I did. And honestly. I felt no satisfaction after eating even one of them. Or two. Or three. Or four.

But it was too late. My brownie pan was empty. His brownie pan had only one small piece missing. What a glutton. What a fool I am.

The next morning, I felt it. The itch of the eczema. The distending of the belly. The number on the scale. Proof of my indiscretion. Proof of my lack of self control.

So you must live as God’s obedient children. Don’t slip back into your old ways of living to satisfy your own desires. You didn’t know any better then. But now you must be holy in everything you do, just as God who chose you is holy. For the Scriptures say, “You must be holy because I am holy.” 1 Peter 1:14-16

Have you ever been tempted to do something you know you shouldn’t do? But instead of turning away, you dive right in? The moment is just right, and you don’t even consider the consequences until you’re past the point of no return.

That is just what the lie of Satan will do for a person. Just a little tease of an indiscretion. Just a little slip of the tongue. Or a small wager. A kiss when a handshake was in order. A second look when the eye should have turned the other way. A walk through a door that should have been locked tight. And pretty soon, we’ve walked down a path we never should have been on.

We’re in the heat of the moment, and the moment just feels so right. We just can’t let it pass us by. That’s what we tell ourselves. Because in the moment, the moment is perfect. Just for the taking. It will never pass this way again.

So we do it. We do that thing we said we would never do. Or we say those words that we’re ashamed to have even thought. But they’ve been said. And words once said can’t be unsaid. We’ve told that story that was shared in confidence. We took another look when we should have looked away.  

It doesn’t have to be this way. The battle for holiness is a battle that must be fought every single day. The thing is. We can say no. We can give up the sins of our past, so they won’t continue to be the sins of today.

Holiness is the state of being holy. A life of holiness and total devotion to God.

There is a battle for the heart, mind and soul. The warriors are God Almighty and Satan himself. Our part in the battle is surrender. But it’s a daily act of surrender. One moment at a time. One temptation at a time. One thought at a time. When we surrender to God, he will fight the battle for us. He will lead us to victory if he is the warrior we choose to follow. But we must choose to be like him. By obeying God, we become more like him.

Our problem following Jesus is we’re trying to be a better version of us, rather than a more accurate reflection of Him.

Bob Goff