Self Doubt

She doesn’t believe in herself. Oh. She’s never said those words. But she doesn’t have to. I hear it in the questions she asks. In the way she’s intimidated by those she thinks are better than her. In the way she stays silent and never speaks up for herself. In the way she thinks others don’t respect her opinions and suggestions. In the way she doubts her decisions and actions. 

She’s heard that the person who is 30 years younger than her is so smart. And how she has asked for extra work. So the older worker always worries that she’s on the chopping block. If she learns that she’s been mistakenly left off an email, she thinks it’s on purpose. As if she’s not worthy to be included.  As if she’s not part of the team. As if she’s not good enough.

When we got new business cards, her title was mistakenly left off her card. She thought it was intentional. But she was afraid to mention it, because what if someone meant to do that?  What if she’s not good enough for the title? Or to even have business cards?

I coach her. I encourage her. But I can’t fight all her battles. 

I know deep down she doesn’t really like the job. But she’s afraid to look for a new one. She struggles to find peace with where she is. And yet she can’t walk away.

She compares herself to others and finds herself coming up short. She tells herself that she would be the last one chosen for the team. She thinks no one would choose her. She doesn’t trust herself. With every little thing that goes wrong, she calls herself a failure.

No one at work has ever told her she’s not good enough. They don’t have to. She tells herself that all the time. She tells herself things about herself that aren’t true. She’s telling herself lies. Does that calm her fears or make them worse?  Sometimes we’re our own worst enemy. 

I can only imagine the conversations she has with herself. They are filled with negativity and doubt. Does she even trust herself? How could she? I wonder whose voice is in her head? Whose voice is she hearing? Someone from her past? Her mom or dad? A jealous friend or sibling? A controlling boss or teacher? Someone has told her she isn’t good enough. And she believes them.

Here is what I would like to say to her.  Believe in yourself. Trust your decisions. Think for yourself. Have an opinion and don’t be afraid to share it. Be proactive. Think outside the box.  Stand up for yourself. Admit your faults and weaknesses. But don’t make them more visible than your strengths. 

What I want to tell her is that God made her in His image. He made her to love herself. To view herself as he sees her. Oh. I know it’s hard to do. Imperfections. Failures. Disappointments. Unmet expectations. They’re hard on a fragile ego that has never been allowed to soar. So she thinks less of herself than she should. She needs to know the One who knows her and loves her as he created her. Not as she sees herself.

In the midst of her fears and flaws and failures, God knows her and loves her. He knows the good she’s capable of doing. He knows her better than she knows herself. He says study to show yourself approved. Lean not on your own understanding. 

Why does it seem easier to believe satan’s lies over God’s truth?


This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
Joshua 1:9


You Know Me Better (Stars Go Dim)

Can’t wrap my mind around
The way You see me like gold
You stand in my mess
And call out the best in me
When my mind gets crowded
With the lies that I’m told
You tell me the truth
And show me that You believe in me
You believe in me

You know me as honest
You know me as good
You know me the way
That I wish I could
You know me worthy
You know me loved
You know me better

When I don’t know where to find me
Show me where to start
Show me who You are
So I know who I am
‘Cause You know who I am

You know me as honest
You know me as good
You know me the way
That I wish I could
You know me worthy
You know me loved
You know me better

I am who You say I am
I am who You say I am
Your word will never change
I am who You say I am

You know me as honest
You know me as good
You know me the way
That I wish I could
You know me worthy
You know me loved
You know me better
Oh, You know, You know

You know me completely
You know me true
You know me as someone
Who looks like You
You know me perfect
You know me strong
You know me better

I am who You say I am
I am who You say I am
Your word will never change
I am who You say I am 

The Fight for You

You.  Yes.  I’m talking to you.  You know that voice inside your head?  The one that only says negative things to you about you?  Well.  It’s time to let it go.  Just fire that voice.   It’s time to take control of your thoughts and words and actions.  You are you.  Not that voice that you hear.

Get in the fight.  Fight for yourself.  Fight yourself.  Fight your fears.  Fight your worries.  Fight that person’s voice you hear if it’s telling you lies.  Because it’s always telling you lies.  You know that voice you hear.  In your head.  That voice that constantly puts you down.  Tells you that you’re worthless.  Tells you that you can’t ever reach that goal or dream.  The voice that tells you you’re not good enough to amount to anything worthwhile in life.  You know that voice.  It isn’t even your voice.  It’s someone else’s.  Oh.  You most likely know whose voice it is.

That voice that you’ve let become your voice may be from a former teacher.  Or a parent.  Or a sibling.  Or that bully you sat by in sixth grade.  It may be a former boyfriend.  Or your spouse.  A former spouse.  It may be your soccer coach.  It may be the boss you report to for forty hours a week.  For years on end.  It may be that coworker who thinks the world owes them everything and you nothing.  You know the voice.  Get rid of it.

So admit it.  You listen to that voice more than you listen to anything else anyone else tells you.  Because that voice is always right.  Am I right?  Well.  Think about this.  That voice isn’t right.  It’s telling you lies.  Big lies.  That voice has put you down for so long that you think it’s the only voice of reason.  But here’s the thing.  It’s not the truth.  It’s not reason.

For too long, you’ve felt that you have to continually seek approval from that person.  The one who criticizes you.  Puts you down in public.  More so in private.  Never applauds your successes.  All you want is their praise.  Their applause.  Their acceptance.  Doesn’t seem like much to ask.  But it is.  Remember this.  They too have someone’s voice in their head.  Don’t pass that ugly voice down to another generation.


Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right and pure and lovely and admirable.  Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.    Philippians 4:8


You know that dream you’ve had tucked away.  For so long.  You dare not call it a dream anymore for fear someone may laugh.  Well.  I dare you.  Start thinking about it.  Write it down.  Dare to speak it.  Oh.  You say you’re not a dreamer.  You can’t imagine new possibilities.  Or even hope them.  Maybe you should.  Because you’ll only accomplish whatever you do.  Oh.  You may fail.  That’s right.  But what if you succeed?  What then?

You say you’re not educated.  Do you think a piece of paper is worth more than natural talent?  God given talent?  Do you think a diploma is worth more than experience?  Well.  It may be for some things.  But not for everything.  So if you don’t really need that piece of paper.  Don’t sweat it.  You’re still somebody without it.  You still have natural talent.  You still have gifts.

I’ve heard others sing your praises.  More than once.  They think you’re awesome.  They’re amazed at your God given talents.  They admire you.  They kind of want to be you.  They wonder how you do what you do and stay so humble.  They love your sense of humor.  They love your steadfastness.  They seek you out of a crowd.  They come to you for advice.  You are loved.  You are valued.  You are the answer to someone’s prayer.

So go ahead.  Listen to the voice in your heart.  Listen to the voice that calms your fears.  The voice that speaks truth in times of uncertainty.  Trust that voice.

You are worthy.  You are capable.  You are enough.  You are loved.

Don’t let someone else’s negativity become your life motto.