brokenhearted

When Tragedy Hits Home

~ mercyfortheday ~ 1 Comment

Two weeks ago, members of our family experienced a horrible, horrible tragedy. An unnecessary tragedy, but I’ll keep the details private. Two young people lost their lives. One was in her mid-twenties, and the other just missed his third birthday. A mother and son gone too soon. The eight month old baby survived. The children are distant relatives of mine, and I never met them. That doesn’t soothe the heartbreak for the family members who knew them well. These family members who are in the deep throes of grief know all too well that this tragedy was avoidable. But somehow, here they are mourning lives they’ll no longer see.

I’m sure they’re all questioning why. Why did this terrible thing have to happen? Why this family? Deep down. They know the reason, but still. At this point, we look beyond the why and pray for healing for those who are left behind. The family is hurting and in deep pain and will be for a very long time. I’m sure there are thoughts of “if only”, but reality has a way of telling us that we can’t go back and undo past decisions. Sometimes they have long lasting consequences.

So, now we pray for healing for the family. For the pain and questioning and anger to ease. Looking forward to making memories looks different than it did a couple of weeks ago, and there’s no going back. Oh. It will take time to work through the grief. Grief is a hard place to be, and it escapes no one. I’m sure they’re reliving happier times, knowing the delight the young lives that were taken brought to the family. And the loss is real. The pain is real. The family has unfortunately lost others, so they know the path of grief. But that doesn’t ease the sting of this new monumental loss.

Acknowledging the pain of loss and walking through it is not for the weak, but it’s a necessary step in the healing process. Living with the grief, while difficult, is the only way to heal. We can’t ignore it or dismiss it. We walk in the midst of it and allow ourselves to experience the hurt and anger and loss, so healing is possible. Nothing will bring them back, but healing can lessen the emotional costs that can consume a heartsick soul. And for most days, at least in the foreseeable future, all thoughts will be consumed with the loss. The replaying of the event. The repeating of the story. The questions. It’s a normal part of the grieving process. It will lessen over time, but for now it’s front and center.

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3

It’s at times like this when many unanswered questions are asked. Many unrealized dreams must be set aside. The new normal has begun. Once a loss has been sustained, you never see life the same. There’s a scar where there never had been before. It’s just a part of life and a piece of your story now.

The hard truth is that everyone of us, at some point in our lives, will be subject to immense grief. We have no way of knowing the reason or the timing or even the severity. We will have loss. Possibly, unspeakable loss. We can’t plan for it or stop it. It will just happen. Sometimes spontaneously and at other times at an eventual pace. The world is full of evil and uncertainty, and we cannot guarantee safety and security for all our days.

It is so important to build a deep-seated faith in God. Building our faith in the solid rock of the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ will be the foundation we stand on during the tempests of life. Our faith must be so strong and solid that nothing, not even the worst tragedy, will sway it. The tragedy will only strengthen our resolve to have full dependence on the God who redeems us.

Someone who doesn’t have a close relationship with the Lord may be questioning why those who do have faith say that it is what sustains them. Here’s the reason. The love of Jesus Christ never leaves us. It is the sustaining force when the waves of uncertainty and loss hit us. Knowing that our Lord suffered a horrific death on the cross for our sins and is waiting for us in our eternal home is more than sufficient when all of life suddenly shifts. Keeping our eye on the future with him is a liberating thought as we face the unknown. Our future is secure with him, because of his sacrifice. And that makes the pain of our loss bearable knowing he’s waiting for us.

And then there’s hope. The hope of spending eternity with Jesus is so comforting that it eases the burdens of loss. It doesn’t mean the grief and the questions and the heaviness aren’t a part of life. It means that my hope doesn’t lie in the life I’m now living, but it lies in an eternity where there is no pain or death or loss or grief. That’s what we have to look forward to when we place our trust in Jesus Christ.

A Picture of Broken

~ mercyfortheday ~ Leave a comment

We may think we aren’t broken.   We may say we aren’t broken.  We may even try to hide our brokenness.  But who hasn’t been shoved?  Or bullied?  Who hasn’t had the wind knocked out of them by a verbal sucker punch?  Who hasn’t been lied to?  Who doesn’t know a little bit about dysfunction?

Sometimes our pretty covers our brokenness. For a time.  And then it’s out in the open.  Never to be hidden.  Oh.  Others will talk.  The gossip will be ferocious.  The truth may never be uncovered.

Kate Spade.  When it seems you’ve got it made, there’s something hiding in the background.  Secrets don’t stay secret forever.  What was it that was haunting you?  What had happened?  What was it that caused you to decide that life wasn’t worth living?  Were you prepared for eternity?  Did you know what was awaiting you on the other side of your darkness?  Was it worth it?  If you could go back now and undo that scarf, would you?  Knowing what you know now?  I’m not judging you, Kate.  You’ve stood before your Maker and Judge.  He was fair and right and just.  May you rest in peace.

I don’t know the true reasons for your actions, Kate.  I don’t need to know.  Different stories and scenarios are circulating.  Some say bipolar disorder.  Others say a divorce was on the horizon.  The thing is.  The reason should be private.  Only those close to you need to know the answers.  If answers can be found.  It’s a sad day.  A very sad day for your family.  For your teenage daughter.  For those who loved you.

Kate.  You had the world at your fingertips.  You designed a lifestyle that others envied.  You sold your empire for more money than most will ever have.  People pay a lot of money to buy your designs.  Oh.  If only that was enough.  If only happiness could be bought.  And bottled.  And prettied up.

Anthony Bourdain.  A colorful life lived on the edge.  You cooked well.  You ate well.  You traveled well.  You were a show of your own.  But still.  That wasn’t enough.  Whatever the reason for ending your life, your life wasn’t in vain.  You were outrageous.  You  made people happy.  You challenged strangers to try new foods.  As you traveled the world eating exotic foods, your life was one to be envied.  But still.  That wasn’t enough.

What was the turning point for you, Anthony?  You, too, had a young daughter.  You seemed to have the world at your disposal.  Your mother said you had everything.  But yet, everything can feel like nothing when you’re going through a dark time.  What was unraveling in your life?  What secrets may now be exposed for the world to know?  If you knew now what you knew before you reached for your bathrobe, would you change your mind?  Would you seek help from others?  Would you turn to your Maker for comfort and encouragement?  Oh.  You’ve now stood in front of your Maker and Judge.  He was fair and right and just.  May you rest in peace.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.  Psalm 34:18

Life is not without problems.  You can lack nothing and still not have it all.

I’ll never be a billionaire.  I’ve never bought a Kate Spade bag.  I’ve never traveled the world.  I’ve never eaten exotic foods.  But I’ve known my fair share of pain.  Hurt.  Rejection.  Oh.  I’ve hit a rough patch lately.  I’m facing uncertainty in my life right now.  I’m not sure what lies ahead for me.  I’m not perfect.  I’m not without flaws and needs.  It’s a fact that those who seem to have life all sorted out, really don’t.  You can fool some of the people all the time.  You can fool all of the people some of the time.  But you can’t fool all the people all the time.

No.  I haven’t considered ending my life.  The thought hasn’t even crossed my mind.  I feel hopeful that my best days are still ahead.  Oh.  There are days when I’m discouraged.  There are moments when I’m fearful.  But I’m learning to trust my Maker and my Judge more and more.  I have to.  He’s my source of strength and comfort.

Oh.  I have friends and family I turn to.  I have ones who pray for me and send words of encouragement.  I’m not perfect and I’m not judging others who make the decision to end their life.  Life gets tough.  Hope gets lost.  Courage gets muddied.

There is one I turn to when I feel down and out.  One I’m close to and who always hears me when I turn to Him.  He knows my needs.  He knows my fears.  My insecurities.  He knows my value.  I can always count on Him to comfort me and provide for me.  Oh.  His timing isn’t always my timing.  But he is always available.

I have my God.  My Maker.  My Judge.  My Provider.  My Shepherd.  My Comforter.  My Hope.  My Healer.  I have it all.