Crushing Disappointment

It was the night the Awana kids had been waiting for ever since the opening week. They could wear their Halloween costumes, and they were allowed to spend their hard-earned Awana bucks in the Awana store. They were so excited. They didn’t know what goodies were waiting for them in the store, but they were ready to find out. They were thrilled to see everything on display as they took turns carrying in their fake money and shopping for goods. And when they came back with their prizes, they were beaming.

It was finally the last little boy’s turn for my group. I went with him. He was ready to spend the seven fake dollars he was holding in his hands. But he wanted to save some for the next time the store was open. They only problem was that seven fake dollars don’t buy much in the store of little goodies. There were some big costly prizes to be bought with the right amount of money. And the prices and size of the prizes trickled down to little bits. He had to stay in the little bit section. He looked and looked over all the prizes that were in his price range, but he couldn’t find anything he wanted. Nothing was jumping out at him. And I tried to help him by pointing out toys and goodies he might have missed. But no. Nothing.

And then the most awful thing happened. Someone came to the door of the room and told us that the store was closed. Shopping was done. As I coaxed him out of the room, his head hung dejectedly down to his chest. He had nothing to show for his seven fake dollars. The boy who is usually full of his own self importance was left with nothing. I tried to encourage him by telling him that he had time to earn more money for the next time the store was open. It will be a few months before the store opens again.

The kids can earn Awana bucks by memorizing Bible verses and bringing their Bible, Awana book and vest each week. He sometimes forgets to bring them, and he doesn’t always have a Bible verse memorized. He’s more interested in talking back and writing on the white board. He doesn’t seem to understand that those things don’t earn him any money. He’s only seven, and he may not have much encouragement at home to learn the verses each week. But he can do it if he would put forth the effort. I see some moments of encouragement and goal setting with him in my future.


As you know, you Philippians were the only ones who gave me financial help when I first brought you the Good News and then traveled on from Macedonia. No other church did this. Even when I was in Thessalonica you sent help more than once. I don’t say this because I want a gift from you. Rather, I want you to receive a reward for your kindness. Philippians 4:15-17


As I was reading my Bible this week, I came across Philippians 4:15-17. It jumped out at me differently this time. I wondered. Did Paul ever feel disappointment in his situation? Did he assume all the churches would financially support him as he sat in prison? Did he believe that the believers in the cities he had travelled to on his missionary journeys would remember him in his time of need?

Paul had been put in prison because of his teachings about Jesus Christ who had appeared to him on the road to Damascus. Paul’s life had been transformed by the saving power of Jesus, and he used every day of his life to tell others about his newfound freedom in Christ. He wanted others to know this Jesus and believe in him, too. But there were those who didn’t agree, and they hated Paul with a vengeance. As he had once hunted followers of Jesus, he found himself being hunted for the same reason. And then he was imprisoned before being killed.

In the book he wrote to the Philippian church, Paul was joyful. As he sat in jail, he showed no signs of disappointment or discouragement. His faith was in Christ alone. He wrote letters to the churches he had visited and ministered to. He would hear along the grapevine how the churches were doing, and he learned of the struggles some of them were experiencing. He wrote to give them words of encouragement and admonishment. He loved those people and hoped and prayed that they would remain faithful to God. Since he couldn’t be with them in person, he did the next best thing by writing letters.

When Paul was in prison, he needed financial support. One church he had ministered to sent him money and supplies on a regular basis. Others sent nothing. He told the church of Philippi that he had learned to be content with nothing and with a lot. He had lived through both extremes and found that God was the sustaining force of his life whether his belly was full or empty. Whether he was warm or cold, he would praise the Lord. His situation would not alter his view of God or his joyfulness.

I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. Philippians 4:12

I wonder though if he ever experienced disappointment in the churches that never helped him out. Did they ever think about him and then ignore his needs? Were they just always so low on cash and supplies that they couldn’t scrape up anything for him? Didn’t they think to plan ahead and set aside a little bit each week to share with him? Did they just not have enough faith to trust God for their needs? Or were they so single minded that they only thought of themselves? Can you imagine him sitting there pining for the generosity of those who had been helped by his teachings? And then getting nothing in return? We never hear of that in his writings.

Unlike my little Awana guy who didn’t plan appropriately enough to earn more money and was greatly disappointed, Paul was joyful regardless of his circumstances. He was thankful for those who prepared ahead of time and faithfully helped him out. He knew that times were tough for them, as well. And he let them know that he was joyful regardless of his situation, and he wanted them to be joyful with him. He didn’t create a list of those who never helped him, and he never chastised them. Even though he knew that this group of believers in Philippi was the only church to send him supplies, he loved the others just the same. He knew that if they shared with him in need, God would bless their generosity. The other churches didn’t know the joy they were missing out on by not helping a fellow believer in need.

Paul’s joyfulness can be a great lesson for us when we become disappointed and disillusioned with others. Our expectations may be out of control and unrealistic, while the actions and words of others may be, as well. Our joy must come from God and God alone; not in our accomplishments, which are fleeting, but in the love and mercy of God our Father. He alone is our present help in trouble. He will not fail or forget us. He stands with us as we stand strong in faithfulness to him.

And Nehemiah continued, “Go and celebrate with a feast of rich foods and sweet drinks, and share gifts of food with people who have nothing prepared. This is a sacred day before our Lord. Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!” Nehemiah 8:10

Essential Workers

I got the email last week from my employer. It said that because of the business we are in, we are considered to be essential workers during this pandemic. I was rather surprised, but then I realized that what we do impacts hospitals and long term care facilities.

I must say that I felt a sense of pride. A sense of ownership. I am doing something that can help make this world a better place. I am contributing to the safety of those who have contracted this terrible virus. I am needed.

I also felt a sense of humility. And thankfulness. I am employed. I am able to work every day. All day. I am working from home, but I am doing the job that God provided for me. Little did I know that I would be employed when so many others have lost their jobs. I pray that the small company I work for can remain open during this time of great need and uncertainty. I don’t take this work or this paycheck for granted.

No. I’m not making masks. I’m not caring for sick individuals. I’m not delivering groceries to families. I am not building temporary hospitals. I am not working on a new vaccine or cure. I am not creating a quicker, easier testing method. I am just doing the job I was given. I am helping hospitals and other healthcare providers keep their information safe and secure.

I sometimes wonder if my work really is necessary. If it’s doing any good for anybody. Am I really helping at a time when help is needed all around me? Then I recall the kind emails I have received from multiple clients thanking me for providing them with much needed information during these tumultuous times. They tell me that the information is very timely and invaluable to their work.

Every kind action and word of advice and encouragement are needed at this time. These are times when we are making a difference in our world. Let’s make a good, noticeable difference.


In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. Romans 12:6


I was reminded that God has given each of us a special gift. Oh. Our gifts don’t all look alike. We don’t get to choose our gifts, but each gift is essential in building God’s kingdom. God has assigned each of us a specific role. A special calling in order to fulfill his plan for this world. We must act now. We must be willing. We must obey in order to fulfill his plan. We are essential workers in the kingdom of God.

He has given each one of us a special gift through the generosity of Christ. Ephesians 4:7

If you have been given the ability to prophesy, speak out boldly with the strong faith God has given to you. If your gift is serving others, then serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach your students well. If you are gifted with words of encouragement, then be an encourager to those who need it. If your gift is giving, then be generous because there are those who need to receive. If you are given the gift of leadership, then take that responsibility seriously. Don’t let it go to your head. If you are gifted with kindness, then shower kindness on others with a glad heart.

God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another. 1 Peter 4:10

If you can speak, then speak as if God were speaking. If you can help, then help others with the strength and energy that God provides. If you have the gift of helps, then find ways to help others. If your gift is hospitality, then open your home or prepare a meal for others. If you have wisdom, then pray that God gives you wise words when they are needed.

These gifts are given to us to be used. Not to be hoarded or neglected. Some may say they don’t have a gift, but that isn’t true. God didn’t pour out gifts on a select few. He showered every one of us with a gift designed specifically with us in mind. Now it is up to each of us to use that gift. To deny it would be going against our Maker. All of these gifts that God has given are necessary to complete his good works. Each worker is essential. No job is too small or insignificant. There is work to be done. Let’s do our part.

Accept this Gift

I have a friend who has the gift of evangelism.  She is eager to share her love for God with anyone and everyone.  She does it with such ease.  It’s just natural for her to bubble over with the message of God’s love to everyone she meets.  She has a burning desire to see her loved ones, her students, her co-workers, her neighbors have a close relationship with God.

She remembers her life before God.  She knows what she was missing.  She knows she’s been forgiven and made new.  She wants the same for everyone.  She’s a bright light shining in a dark world.

I want to be like her.  I want my love of Jesus to just roll off my lips.  I want to want everyone to know my Jesus.  I want to share with others the gift of eternal life that I’ve been given.   Why do I find it so hard to do?

I have a friend who has the gifts of knowledge and faith.  She journals.  She prays behind the closed doors of her closet.  She spends intentional time alone with God.  And he speaks to her.  He gives her specific words to let her know that he has got her in the palm of his hand.  He lets her know that he protects her and her loved ones when she is fearful.  He has answered specific prayers in just the way he has told her he would.  He has provided her with words of truth and encouragement to share with others at just the right time.  When she had no idea what the words meant to the other person.  She knew the words were from him.  They were bigger than her.  But she was faithful.  At times, she’s seen the results of those faithful words and knew that it was God alone who gave them to her.  They were words of God.  Not of her. She believes the words he gives her and waits for him to fulfill his promises.

I want to be like her.  I want God to speak specific words of encouragement and faith to me.  I want to then share those words with those who were meant to hear them.  I want to see God working specifically as he has said he would.  I want to hear God speak promises and reassurances to me.  But that isn’t the way God speaks to me.  Why not?

I have often wondered if I have gifts.  Why would God create me without gifts?  What was he thinking?   Am I the only person God made who has no gifts?  Or are they just buried really deep within?  I’ve tried to find them.  I’ve compared myself to others and didn’t find their gifts hiding inside me.  I never measured up to them and their gifts.

What if you have God-given gifts and He wants to turn you loose with them?  ~Jennie Allen

If I can see others’ gifts, why can’t I see my own? Am I too focused on my own weaknesses to see my gifts?  I’ve taken spiritual gifts tests, personality tests, strengths finders.  I know what they say.  They’re words on a paper evaluating my answers to too many questions.  Questions that are supposed to be answered quickly without much thought.  Problem is…I like to think.  I like to ponder.   I like to roll thoughts and ideas around in my head and then make the decision.  I’m not indecisive.  I’m just not spontaneous.  Is that my gift?

What is God’s purpose for me?  He said that he knew me before I was born.  He knows my name.  He even knows the number of hairs on my head.  He made me and He planned for me.  He gifted me.

Don’t worry.  I know my gifts.  I just have trouble seeing them as gifts.  I focus more on my weaknesses than my strengths.  Why do I try to hide my gifts while at the same time easily spotting the gifts of others?  Jennie Allen says that we often find it easy to encourage the people around us and recognize their gifts and talents, yet we deny the gifts God has also placed on our lives.  It’s time to celebrate God’s unique work called Me and the gifts he has placed in me.

Can you recognize your gifts?  If not, check out this tool to get you started.