The Goodbye Kiss

It’s all over the news this week. Mainly the Christian news. The guy who wrote a popular book 20 plus years ago has renounced the book he wrote. He no longer believes what he wrote.

What was his book? I Kissed Dating Goodbye. The book is described as an inspiring call to sincere love, real purity, and purposeful singleness. Sounds like a good thing.

Now after all these years, he’s recanted his beliefs. He says what he wrote was all wrong. He’s kissed his marriage goodbye. And he’s given his faith the kiss off. 

What changed his mind? Where did he go wrong? How did it come to this?

Oh. He was only 21 when he wrote the book. Fairly naive. Vastly inexperienced. But I’m sure he had great intentions. You know how it is. 22 years later. Real life happens. You gain life experience in work, love and faith. You question why and how and when. At times you wonder if you’ve got it all wrong or if you’re going in the right direction. But do you just throw it all away? For no good reason?

There’s a lot at stake here for the man. He’s getting a divorce. His family is falling apart. He’s left his wife. He says that significant changes have taken place in both of them over the years. That’s sure to happen to any of us. But what was it that caused him to think his marriage wasn’t worth saving? Oh. I don’t need to know the details. The fact that divorce is in the works tells me all I need to know. And it’s very sad.

He no longer believes the words he wrote. He believes he was misleading people to think that their marriage would be perfect if they followed the teaching in his book. And since it wasn’t all based on Scripture, then it must be wrong. I don’t know. I never read his book. But he’s thrown it all away. Now he’s promoting alternate lifestyles that are definitely not Scriptural.

He’s walked away from his relationship with God. And someone who has a relationship with God squarely knows what the consequences are to just walk away. And he says he doesn’t view this negatively. Does he really know what’s at stake here for him? Does he know that those who walk away from God will walk themselves right into hell? He’s got to know that. And he’s ok with it? Wow. He must really trust those people who have been advising him. He was listening to them more than he was listening to God. When did the Word of God stop being real to him? What caused him to close his spirit to the Holy Spirit?


The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is? Jeremiah 17:9


And that’s the problem. Anyone who calls themselves a Christian is capable of doing what Josh Harris has done. Any of us are capable of being tricked and lied to by the enemy of our souls. Satan himself. He will make the dull look shiny. He will make the bad sound good. He will spin lies to appear as truth. He will make hell look attractive. He wants our souls.

Josh Harris isn’t the first to renounce his faith. And the sad news. He won’t be the last.

But what was it that caused him to lose his faith? That’s my question. What was it that made him decide after all these years that a relationship with Jesus Christ wasn’t worth it?

I’ve never met Josh Harris. I doubt I ever will. I’ve just read about him. His website mentions that he had conversations with people who reshaped his thinking. Who, I wonder, was he listening to? Was he seeking advice from godly people who held him accountable? Or was he listening to those who said things he wanted to hear? Who was Satan using to twist words of truth and introduce lies and confusion? It doesn’t always take much to be convinced that truth is a lie. Especially if life isn’t perfect. Because doubt and disillusionment can set in. Even for those who appear solid in their faith.

Look at King Solomon. At the beginning of his reign over Israel, God said he would give Solomon anything he asked for. So he asked God for wisdom. And he used his wisdom to give advice to other kings and queens. They would travel long distances to hear his words. And because of this, he married foreign princesses. He eventually married hundreds of women. Women who did not worship the one true God. They introduced him to their gods. and their ways. He moved from worshiping the only true God to worshiping lesser gods. False gods. His many wives turned his heart away from serving God. How did it come to this?

If we call ourselves Christians, we are in a battle for our souls. Satan is doing everything he can to trick us out of our relationship with God and into a life built on lies and deception. We have to put on the armor of God every day in order to fight the enemy. We must be prepared to fight. We must stay alert to the stop the fiery arrows of the devil. This battle is very real and very dangerous. If you believe there isn’t a fight, then you’ve already lost. Our eternity is at risk.

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