conviction

Self Control vs. Self Entitlement

~ mercyfortheday ~ Leave a comment

Self Control: The control of oneself; the ability to master one’s desires and impulses.

Self Entitlement: A mentality where an individual believes they inherently deserve special treatment, privileges, or favorable outcomes simply because of who they are, without having earned them through merit, effort or contribution.

I recently read an interesting article about self control. It told the story of a traveler on a train from London to Paris who encountered a group of young women traveling the same route. Of the seventy-two passengers on the train, only the six young women were noisy. In fact, they were talking and laughing loudly in a way that showed their self importance. They showed no regard for anyone else’s comfort on that train. Until the writer of the article approached them, that is. When called out for the rude behavior, one young woman answered with an attitude of belligerence. Yet, another woman in the group answered apologetically and said she didn’t realize they were too loud.

Six loud voices against sixty-six quiet people. What would you do if you were in the quiet group? Would you have dared to speak up? If you did, would you have been kind or demanding? The sentence in the article that impressed me was “I spoke much more mildly than my inner thoughts might have prompted me to speak.” The one who confronted the young women showed restraint in his approach to an awkward situation. He made a judgment call to kindly point out the trouble the group was causing without causing trouble himself. That in itself is an act worth noting.

Read the article here.

This story got me thinking about the way I treat others. Do I always think I’m in the right when someone challenges my position? Do I struggle to see their point of view? Do I assert my “rights” and scoff unapologetically at their insensitivities? Do I think I’m always right? Does my conscience ever challenge my sense of entitlement? Does my conscience still work? Do I conduct myself in a thoughtless manner that leaves others offended?

And if someone dares to correct me, how do I respond? Do I act or speak aggressively, knowing that one of my flaws has been discovered? Do I present an attitude of entitlement? Or, do I quietly and kindly consider the words that were spoken in a challenging moment? Do I thank them for their honest assessment of my untoward behavior? And then change that behavior?

Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips! Do not let my heart incline to any evil, to busy myself with wicked deeds in company with men who work iniquity, and let me not eat of their delicacies! Let a righteous man strike me—it is a kindness; let him rebuke me—it is oil for my head; let my head not refuse it. Yet my prayer is continually against their evil deeds. Psalm 141:3-5

A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls. Proverbs 25:28

In I Samuel 24:1-7, David and his men were hiding in a cave when his archenemy, King Saul, entered it alone to relieve himself. At the strong urging of his men, David crept up and cut off a piece of Saul’s robe — unbeknownst to Saul. David’s men saw the moment as a divine intervention and wanted him to kill the king. And he could have. But for one thing. David’s conscience got the best of him. He knew he couldn’t harm the king. It was that simple for him. God didn’t want him to harm the king in any way, shape or form. So he didn’t.

Was David wrong to cut the piece off of Saul’s robe? It isn’t mine to say. Only God knows. David felt convicted by his action and vowed not to harm the king. Why? He knew Saul had been anointed by God, and who was he to harm God’s chosen leader? Even though the soldiers around him urged him to finish off the king, David refused. He knew that he was forbidden to touch the king in a way of harm. So David stepped back and waited for King Saul to walk out of the cave before letting him know that his life had been spared.

Actually, David’s actions that day showed us that good can overcome evil. He didn’t bow to the pressures of his men who wanted the king dead. David served a much bigger King, and he wouldn’t allow the death threats Saul was throwing his way to deter him from his mission. Oh. He knew God had already chosen him to replace Saul as the next king of Israel, but he also knew that it wasn’t his place to decide when Saul breathed his last breath. He would wait patiently for the day of his own coronation before taking the throne.

Even Jesus had what seemed to be a too good to be true offer from Satan himself. Satan shows all the kingdoms of the world to Jesus and promised he could have authority over all of them if only he would worship Satan. Jesus politely refused and reminded Satan that we must worship only the Lord God.

Read about Jesus’ refusal to succumb to Satan’s efforts to tempt him in Luke 4:1-13.

Perhaps it’s time to examine ourselves and our motives. Maybe we need to ask ourselves if we have a tender conscience. Do we ever feel convicted about something we’ve done or said? Do we ever feel convicted to withhold judgment or harsh words or improper actions? Or, do we forge ahead as if we have the right to do or say anything we want without considering the ticking of our conscience? And again, do we ever feel convicted to speak up and risk the aggressive acts of the listener?

He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble his way. Psalm 25:9

Peace or Sword

~ mercyfortheday ~ Leave a comment

There they were. Sitting around the table. Thirteen of them. One was the leader. Jesus Christ, the Son of God. The other twelve were hand picked by Jesus to share his message with the world. They were gathered to observe the Passover meal. And as he broke the bread, Jesus said it was given in remembrance of his body. They drank the wine together, for it was the last time Jesus would partake of it with them.

Then he took a cup of wine and gave thanks to God for it. Then he said, “Take this and share it among yourselves. For I will not drink wine again until the Kingdom of God has come.” He took some bread and gave thanks to God for it. Then he broke it in pieces and gave it to the disciples, saying, “This is my body, which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” Luke 22:17-19

After the meal, Jesus raised another toast and proclaimed the cup was the new covenant between God and his people. He confirmed that his blood would be spilled as a sacrifice for all people. Yet the disciples didn’t understand the veiled truth that Jesus was speaking. Oh. He often spoke in parables. Later he would offer explanations of the parables to his chosen twelve. But on this night. On this occasion, Jesus was preparing them for the suffering that lay ahead for him when he walked out the door.

Not everyone is ready for truth when it is spoken, so it is unclear. Truth, at times, is unclear because of unbelief, fear or misunderstanding.

Jesus went on to tell them that one of them sitting at the table would turn against him. This man would turn Jesus over to the authorities. And this act of betrayal would propel Jesus down a path of no return. Oh. He knew it would happen. He was, after all, God Incarnate. He was God in human form come to die a brutal death for the sins of all mankind. And this was the moment. And yet. As he sat there with the twelve, knowing that one would betray him, he offered the cup of wine to everyone. He didn’t share it with only the eleven who would remain faithful until death. He also offered it to the one who had already made arrangements to sell him out. Yet he didn’t speak the man’s name. And the remaining group was unaware of their friend’s impending betrayal. Nor the cost of it for all seated at that table. They had no idea what lay ahead for them even that very night.

But here at this table, sitting among us as a friend, is the man who will betray me. For it has been determined that the Son of Man must die. But what sorrow awaits the one who betrays him.” The disciples began to ask each other which of them would ever do such a thing. Luke 22:21-23

As plans were being put in motion to celebrate the Passover meal, Jesus could have uninvited this one man. He could have offered the man a reason to excuse himself from the dinner. But he didn’t. This man. One of the twelve, chosen specifically by Jesus, would betray him with a kiss in front of the others. His fellow disciples. No one knew he was planning to abdicate his position. Imagine how the eleven felt seeing their brother betray the man they followed and believed. Yet here he was. Kissing Jesus on the cheek to show the authorities and soldiers who had come to make an arrest. He was a traitor and his closest group of friends suddenly saw him in a new light. And it wasn’t a pretty sight.

Sure. It’s obvious that Satan had planted the seed of betrayal in Judas’s heart. There’s no other way to explain it. Judas was the treasurer of the group. So he held all the money. Perhaps he had delved into the funds on different occasions to make his life easier. After all. They didn’t get a paycheck from Jesus. Their loyalty was on them. And a group of donors helped fund their travels. This was not a paying gig. In spite of the fact that Jesus knew in advance that he would be betrayed, he ate the last supper with his traitor. And he loved him still. He was willing to give his life for even back stabbers. Because some backstabbers do repent.

But this traitor. He was hiding in plain sight of the Savior of the world. Oh. Jesus hadn’t been crucified and risen from the dead yet. But Judas traveled with Jesus and the other eleven. He was a follower of the Way. He believed Jesus was the Messiah. But yet. His humanity was evident in the way he conducted business. He was known to pilfer money from the group’s funds. He helped himself to cash when he ran short. Oh. It must not have bothered him. And there’s no evidence that any of the group were aware of his theft. So no one ever confronted him on it.

We’ve all heard the saying. Keep your friends close. Keep your enemies closer. But that only applies if we recognize the enemy. What if we don’t realize the enemy is in such close quarters? It isn’t even a fair fight. But not all fights are fair.

Don’t imagine that I came to bring peace to the earth! I came not to bring peace, but a sword. Matthew 10:34

So why should we expect any different in our circle of friends?  Why should we expect those closest to us to stand with us when we stand for truth?  Why should we expect allegiance and support when we don’t know the other person’s heart?  We see what they want us to see.  And the reverse is also true. How can we support someone close to us when we disagree with them?  How do we maintain that close relationship when it’s been fractured by disappointment and disbelief?  When trust has been shattered, how do we move forward in the relationship? 

Who sits at the table of fellowship with us?  There may be ones at the table who have turned their allegiance to another.  They may no longer be in a position of agreement on key issues.  They may offer betrayal when least suspected.  Are there any red flags?  Or are we too blind to even consider we’re close to being betrayed?  And then once the traitor has been exposed, what comes of the relationship? 

As believers, we can expect to be fired upon by Satan. We need to know that he will use all his evil ways to lure us away from faith in Christ. When he successfully uses these same tricks on our loved ones, the fallout can be enormous. He will use his wiles against everything we stand for. And everything we hold dear. Even at the expense of relationships and close ties to others. Sometimes the relationships that are severed are the ones we thought would stand the test of time. And then when testing comes, cracks in the relationship appear. At times, there are permanent consequences. Are we ready for that? Do we know who is sitting at the table with us? Of course. It’s impossible for humans to know the full extent of someone else’s intents and purposes. So we must always be careful listeners and godly examples. We must always be fully dressed in the armor of God. We must be peacemakers even when being obedient to the Word of God causes division.

Oh.  Jesus was God come to earth as man.  So he knew the hearts of the men celebrating the Passover meal with him.  He knew one would betray him.  He knew another would deny knowing him, not once, but three times before the rooster crowed.  And he knew that every man sitting there at the table would desert him that very night.  Yet he chose to eat with them.  He broke the bread and drank the wine with this group of disciples.  Knowing all the while that in a few hours he would be standing alone. It’s easy to walk away from friends when they’ve hurt us. But Jesus knew his group of rugged disciples would turn away before they even committed the acts. And he still sat and served them. Knowing the hurt and aloneness he would face in his final hours. Would we do the same for those who will turn against us in our greatest moment of need?

Do you think I have come to bring peace to the earth? No, I have come to divide people against each other! From now on families will be split apart, three in favor of me, and two against—or two in favor and three against. ‘Father will be divided against son and son against father; mother against daughter and daughter against mother; and mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.’ Luke 12:51-53