golden rule

Poor Customer Service

~ mercyfortheday ~ Leave a comment

I had an experience in the past couple of weeks where I felt my husband and I received poor customer service. And honestly. It was no fault of ours. The salesperson was new to her job, but she had been doing similar work for years. That means she should have been well informed about the information we were discussing. The only part of her job that was new and unfamiliar was the company she now worked for. And her surroundings were different. I’m sure the commute to work was different. But the work was the same.

However. When this individual realized the product we were looking for was not her preferred product, she got all flustered. In her previous employment, she was responsible for selling her preferred product, which is similar but not identical to what we wanted. And she voiced her frustrations to us. She said she didn’t want to work with the product we were looking for. It was too hard. And then she entered my date of birth incorrectly into the website. When the error was discovered, it was too late to update it. She would need to make a call to another company the next day to make the change. Because it was the end of the workday and she had another client waiting, she didn’t have time to even begin work on my husband’s information. She said she would call us the next day to complete the work.

She didn’t call the next day. And then it was the weekend. She didn’t call on Monday, so I left a voicemail for her. No call on Tuesday, so I sent her an email. You see. We’re on a strict deadline, and we don’t want to wait until the last possible minute to complete this enrollment. Time is ticking by. She finally called us back eight days after our initial meeting. Oh. She apologized profusely. And then she started working on my husband’s information.

All was going well until she hit the enter button to complete his enrollment. She received an error message and didn’t know how to correct what shouldn’t have been an error. Honestly. This time, the mistake wasn’t her fault. Nor was it ours. But it was too late in the day on a Friday to call someone somewhere else to correct the problem. So once again, we’re waiting. And time is still ticking by.

Oh. There is much more to the story that I could share. There were several more missteps on her part that I just won’t go into. I just won’t. I don’t want to nitpick over words and incomplete training or frustrations, but it was frustrating. To say the least. To say that she was ill prepared for our appointment and seemed to have little regard for details is an understatement. On my end, I had thought of contacting her manager to discuss the situation. But I kept stalling. Now I’m glad I did, because when she finally returned my call and was able to finalize my situation she was very pleasant. But does that make all the other words and attitudes on her end null and void?

It isn’t my goal in life to cause someone to get in trouble at work, but I did see several opportunities for improvement at that workplace. I guess I’ll not share those thoughts at this time. I really don’t want to be seen as a troublemaker. But I do expect a salesperson to be ready to sell all the products their company offers. Isn’t the customer always right? I recall that motto being thrown around a lot in the past.

As I’m writing this, I just hung up the phone with this particular salesperson who thought she had fixed the remaining problem. And the problem was fixed. But when we received the information for one final review, there were two huge outstanding errors. We were told it was the other company, not our salesperson, who had entered the information incorrectly. After all the hassles we’ve been through with this person, we didn’t really believe her. It just didn’t ring true. But we could be wrong. And we’re still waiting for resolution.

So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you. Matthew 7:12

I have to ask myself. What do I expect of myself in that situation? How should I respond when I’m on the receiving end of someone else’s bad day or incompetence? Do I exhibit the love of Christ? Or do I stir up even more anxious thoughts and feelings in them by calling out their mistakes? When is it appropriate to share my concerns with their manager, and when should I be silent about such matters? I need to make sure my attitude reflects the attitude of Christ at all times.

How should a Christian respond when they’re on the receiving end of poor service?

First of all, I’m not sure the salesperson had a full understanding of what to say and what not to say to her clients. She didn’t filter her words, which could have gotten really ugly if we had gone down that path. As Christians, we don’t have to start the fight. We need to know when it is appropriate to confront the misbehavior and ill spoken words and when not to. Basically, we need to choose our battles. That doesn’t mean we should never speak up about any mistreatment.

Being the recipients of inexcusable behavior allows people of faith to show the love of God. We can display godly actions and words while presenting the truth. Oh. It may not be easy in the heat of the moment, but we can exhibit kindness and speak correction all in the same breath. We have to stop and ask ourselves if we really care about the person who’s been poorly trained or having a bad day. If we were in their shoes, would we act any differently than they are? And we have to remember that they too were made in the image of God and are loved by him just as we are. But God is a God of justice, not just of love.

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. James 1:19-20

And another thing. We shouldn’t keep score. Oh. We may have to recite all the wrongs committed against us when we report inappropriate behavior, but we can’t hold a grudge or try to even the score. We always have the option not to do business with that individual or company again and part ways amicably.

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

But our story isn’t over, and the problem still isn’t solved. We’re still waiting to hear back from her, but she’ll be on vacation during Thanksgiving week. I just have to roll my eyes and sigh at this point.

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters. Colossians 3:23

Crushing Disappointment

~ mercyfortheday ~ Leave a comment

It was the night the Awana kids had been waiting for ever since the opening week. They could wear their Halloween costumes, and they were allowed to spend their hard-earned Awana bucks in the Awana store. They were so excited. They didn’t know what goodies were waiting for them in the store, but they were ready to find out. They were thrilled to see everything on display as they took turns carrying in their fake money and shopping for goods. And when they came back with their prizes, they were beaming.

It was finally the last little boy’s turn for my group. I went with him. He was ready to spend the seven fake dollars he was holding in his hands. But he wanted to save some for the next time the store was open. They only problem was that seven fake dollars don’t buy much in the store of little goodies. There were some big costly prizes to be bought with the right amount of money. And the prices and size of the prizes trickled down to little bits. He had to stay in the little bit section. He looked and looked over all the prizes that were in his price range, but he couldn’t find anything he wanted. Nothing was jumping out at him. And I tried to help him by pointing out toys and goodies he might have missed. But no. Nothing.

And then the most awful thing happened. Someone came to the door of the room and told us that the store was closed. Shopping was done. As I coaxed him out of the room, his head hung dejectedly down to his chest. He had nothing to show for his seven fake dollars. The boy who is usually full of his own self importance was left with nothing. I tried to encourage him by telling him that he had time to earn more money for the next time the store was open. It will be a few months before the store opens again.

The kids can earn Awana bucks by memorizing Bible verses and bringing their Bible, Awana book and vest each week. He sometimes forgets to bring them, and he doesn’t always have a Bible verse memorized. He’s more interested in talking back and writing on the white board. He doesn’t seem to understand that those things don’t earn him any money. He’s only seven, and he may not have much encouragement at home to learn the verses each week. But he can do it if he would put forth the effort. I see some moments of encouragement and goal setting with him in my future.

As you know, you Philippians were the only ones who gave me financial help when I first brought you the Good News and then traveled on from Macedonia. No other church did this. Even when I was in Thessalonica you sent help more than once. I don’t say this because I want a gift from you. Rather, I want you to receive a reward for your kindness. Philippians 4:15-17

As I was reading my Bible this week, I came across Philippians 4:15-17. It jumped out at me differently this time. I wondered. Did Paul ever feel disappointment in his situation? Did he assume all the churches would financially support him as he sat in prison? Did he believe that the believers in the cities he had travelled to on his missionary journeys would remember him in his time of need?

Paul had been put in prison because of his teachings about Jesus Christ who had appeared to him on the road to Damascus. Paul’s life had been transformed by the saving power of Jesus, and he used every day of his life to tell others about his newfound freedom in Christ. He wanted others to know this Jesus and believe in him, too. But there were those who didn’t agree, and they hated Paul with a vengeance. As he had once hunted followers of Jesus, he found himself being hunted for the same reason. And then he was imprisoned before being killed.

In the book he wrote to the Philippian church, Paul was joyful. As he sat in jail, he showed no signs of disappointment or discouragement. His faith was in Christ alone. He wrote letters to the churches he had visited and ministered to. He would hear along the grapevine how the churches were doing, and he learned of the struggles some of them were experiencing. He wrote to give them words of encouragement and admonishment. He loved those people and hoped and prayed that they would remain faithful to God. Since he couldn’t be with them in person, he did the next best thing by writing letters.

When Paul was in prison, he needed financial support. One church he had ministered to sent him money and supplies on a regular basis. Others sent nothing. He told the church of Philippi that he had learned to be content with nothing and with a lot. He had lived through both extremes and found that God was the sustaining force of his life whether his belly was full or empty. Whether he was warm or cold, he would praise the Lord. His situation would not alter his view of God or his joyfulness.

I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. Philippians 4:12

I wonder though if he ever experienced disappointment in the churches that never helped him out. Did they ever think about him and then ignore his needs? Were they just always so low on cash and supplies that they couldn’t scrape up anything for him? Didn’t they think to plan ahead and set aside a little bit each week to share with him? Did they just not have enough faith to trust God for their needs? Or were they so single minded that they only thought of themselves? Can you imagine him sitting there pining for the generosity of those who had been helped by his teachings? And then getting nothing in return? We never hear of that in his writings.

Unlike my little Awana guy who didn’t plan appropriately enough to earn more money and was greatly disappointed, Paul was joyful regardless of his circumstances. He was thankful for those who prepared ahead of time and faithfully helped him out. He knew that times were tough for them, as well. And he let them know that he was joyful regardless of his situation, and he wanted them to be joyful with him. He didn’t create a list of those who never helped him, and he never chastised them. Even though he knew that this group of believers in Philippi was the only church to send him supplies, he loved the others just the same. He knew that if they shared with him in need, God would bless their generosity. The other churches didn’t know the joy they were missing out on by not helping a fellow believer in need.

Paul’s joyfulness can be a great lesson for us when we become disappointed and disillusioned with others. Our expectations may be out of control and unrealistic, while the actions and words of others may be, as well. Our joy must come from God and God alone; not in our accomplishments, which are fleeting, but in the love and mercy of God our Father. He alone is our present help in trouble. He will not fail or forget us. He stands with us as we stand strong in faithfulness to him.

And Nehemiah continued, “Go and celebrate with a feast of rich foods and sweet drinks, and share gifts of food with people who have nothing prepared. This is a sacred day before our Lord. Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!” Nehemiah 8:10

He Finished Well

~ mercyfortheday ~ 1 Comment

We’ve been planning this day for a while now. Two years, in fact. The time when he can leave behind the cares of employment. The day when he can close the door one last time for being on call twenty-four hours seven days a week. The time has come for others to take his place. Oh. It was hard letting go of a job he truly loved. But it was also a sweet relief to turn in his badge and sign off one last time. No regrets. 

Sure. There was a celebration for him. He was honored and applauded. Many kind and gracious words were spoken of his leadership, strong decision making and dedication to always doing the right thing. He treated others with respect and never backed down from speaking words of truth and wisdom when needed.  And many noted that at times he was the only one to use tough love.

As many lauded his actions and achievements, he wiped tears from his eyes. He knew he was well loved and respected. He would be missed. His replacement told him that he had big shoes to fill. Their kind words will make for many memories as he walks away from many years of service in a place he dearly loved and fought for. As one whose love language is words of affirmation, his cup was filled to the brim and running over that day. Those words of respect and kindness will stay with him for years to come.

He worked hard and found great enjoyment in serving others. As I mentioned, he showed tough love when it was appropriate, but he showed it with kindness and respect. He has never been one to mince words when speaking the truth, and some are uncomfortable with strong truths. But that didn’t stop him from having hard conversations with those who needed correction and direction. He always found the right way to say the words that needed to be said without demoralizing the listener, and many he worked with acknowledged him for it.

He can walk away with his head held high and his heart full of accomplishment. He finished well the course of a forty three year career. Oh. There were tough times. And there were many lessons learned. There were multiple job losses and new paths forged. But he walked through each new door ready to learn and accomplish much. As he now lays all those years of service aside, he won’t become lazy. He’ll find a new path to walk and new faces and names to learn. He’s ready for a more leisurely pace, but he hasn’t given up on life. He’ll walk through this new door and find a new contentment and enjoyment he’s totally unaware of at this point. He’ll find his way.

Oh. He’ll face new challenges as he crosses the threshold of retirement,  but he can look back on the years of rising early, knowing he did a job well done. There’s nothing wrong with finishing a career. It’s expected. But there is still a journey ahead that will have its own twists and turns. That, too, is expected.  It’s called life.

So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. Matthew 7:12

Never think that your acts of service and words of truth go unseen and unheard. In the right moments, others are watching and listening. They see and hear you, and your godly example does not go unnoticed. Oh. They may never publicly or even privately acknowledge your efforts, but trust me. They notice. And they may be envious of the ease in which you carry yourself. Don’t ever walk away from honest living. 

The people who influence us the most are not those who detain us with their continual talk, but those who live their lives like the stars in the sky and “the lilies of the field”–simply and unaffectedly. Those are the lives that mold and shape us.

Oswald Chambers

Oh. A life lived well isn’t without stress and suffering. It’s a testament to the strength and graciousness of a loving God who walks by your side each and every day. The responsibility should not be taken lightly, but at the appointed hour the burden is lifted. The torch is passed to the next generation. And that time has come for him. 

So. Welcome to retirement, my dear. The road has been long, but the days are still short. You have earned the welcome relief of a slower pace of life, less stress and long stretches of sleep. I pray you find your way in this new phase of life as we grow old together. You are the best. And I love you.

Let me be clear. Greatness isn’t about being seen. It’s not about platforms or follower counts or fleeting viral fame. It’s not about accolades or promotions, the hollow rewards that come with a title but not always with true fulfillment. It’s about impact. The kind that doesn’t seek applause. The kind that shifts something in another person’s spirit. The kind that ripples on the waters of another’s heart. The kind that opens up new possibilities. The kind that brings healing, clarity, and light where there once was only darkness.

Etienne Toussaint

Pickleball Mafia

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So I’ve joined the world of pickleball. And I’ve discovered that I like it. It’s fun. It gets me moving. I try to play once a week. I’m a beginner, but I’m seeing improvement in my game. So I think there’s hope. Oh. Not that I’ll ever be a professional or play in a tournament. Nothing like that. That’s not my goal. But it’s nice to get in an outdoor aerobic workout on a sunny day. It feels good to move around and hit the ball. And I’ve met some new people.

We’re a group of six to eight retirees who met at our pickleball lessons in April. We’re all at the same beginner level and have continued to meet after we completed the four-week class. Some of us have moved to the area in the last few years and others are long-time residents. We’re there to have fun and get a little exercise. So far it’s working.

There is one in our group who told me in front of the group that I needed to correct my serve. I kindly let her know that my serving style was completely legal in the world of pickleball. I could have pointed her biggest flaw out to her, which has to be obvious to the entire group. She doesn’t like to move, so she stands in one spot and never goes out of her way to hit the ball if it’s not directly in her path. And she calls the ball out too many times when her opponents can’t see if it really is in or out. We’re all beginners and have much room for improvement, so let’s be kind and gracious to each other.

We play at the courts in a public park. There are eight courts in this particular park and are open to the public. They’re free of charge and can’t be reserved. It’s first come, first serve. If you’ve been playing for an hour and there are groups waiting, then you must step aside to allow others a chance to play. Sounds harmless. Right? Right.

I’ve been informed by others who are more knowledgeable about these things that there are groups of pickleballers who take the game very seriously. I mean. They’re serious about their pickleball. I think our group has recently run into such a group. We were informed by a member of said group that they use four of the courts for advanced players and the other four for those less experienced. And then after each game, they rotate to play with different players in their set of four courts. And they also use a specific color of ball so they know who is in their group. It was subtly suggested to our group that we follow their rules. Really?

It seems that some in our group were willing to abide by this other group’s rules, but a couple of us were dead set against it. I reminded our group that we are playing at a public park where courts can’t be reserved. We play at our leisure and abide by the park’s rules and regulation pickleball rules. No one else’s. So, to back up my stand on the issue, I called the park district and talked through the situation with someone a few days later. When I explained our dilemma and provided all the details, I let the gentleman know that my goal wasn’t to cause trouble but to get the facts straight. He informed me that he knew exactly who I was talking about. Apparently, this group I call the pickleball mafia have done the same thing to other groups. He said he would speak to them.

And one in their group walked over to our group in the midst of our game and gave us a playing tip. Oh. She was polite, but it felt intrusive. Who does that? And a member of our group actually recognized her and called her by name. Then she was forced to acknowledge the relationship. How odd.

And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father. Colossians 3:17

Oh. I know. It’s just a game. That’s right. It is. And we want it to stay that way.

So. The question is this. How do we get along with others who try to manipulate us? How do we work with someone who tries to one-up us? Here’s the catch with that type of scenario. The more you give in to them, the more they’ll try to take. And how do you ever get back to the way things should have been, in the first place? It’s an age old dilemma.

Not a single person on earth is always good and never sins. Don’t eavesdrop on others—you may hear your servant curse you. For you know how often you yourself have cursed others. Ecclesiastes 7:20-22

At the same time, we don’t have to be a doormat and let others walk all over us. We should stand up for what we know is right and true and good. Fairness never grows old. And as Christians, how do we deal with situations where others are trying to exert more control than they really have? How do we kindly and Christianly stand up for ourselves without insulting others?

The Word of God offers so much wisdom on dealing with others and with how to navigate difficult situations. We must live wisely, because not everyone we meet is a believer. Not everyone is looking out for the best interests of others. As Christ followers, we must stand apart and be a godly example in our conduct and our speech. We can’t allow Satan to lead us down the path of ungodly behavior. And we can’t just look away and accept unacceptable behavior.

Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone. Colossians 4:5-6

We’re also told in the books of Romans that we can’t repay someone when they plan evil against us. We must do what is right in the eyes of everyone, because along with everyone else, God is also watching. And as far as it depends on us, we must live at peace with everyone. That is a tall order, it may seem, especially in certain situations. But when the other party is set on evil, we set our eyes on eternity and act accordingly. We must seek peace and pursue it, but not at the cost of accepting evil standards.

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. Romans 12:17-19

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. Colossians 3:12-15

As we pursue Christ, let’s remember to keep a sharp mind, a soft heart and thick skin.

Alisa Childers

Something Is In My Eye

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She texted me. I’m not feeling good about my job today. She said. She went on to tell me how a coworker had called to tell her that she had made some mistakes. And then later, an executive called her and pointed out a couple more mistakes. He asked her why she did what she did. She was upset. She said that if we were asked to go back into the office to work, she would have to start looking for another job. Facing these people on a daily basis would just be too much for her.

The trouble is. This job has always made her uncomfortable. And when she feels uncomfortable, she questions every decision she makes. And when someone calls her out, she beats herself up over and over. Isn’t that typical when we hear words of correction or rebuke?

But the first person who called her said she saw some of her work just on a fluke. They weren’t really checking up on her. But she wondered about that. And they informed her that she wasn’t doing things right. The second person is the one who makes all the rules for the company. He’s one of the owners. So when he says you’re doing something wrong, it’s because you’re doing things different from the way he intended the company to run. That would make a person feel bad about themselves. But his tone and method of delivery are usually abrupt and unkind.

The thing is. Both of the people who called her sometimes make questionable decisions. They sometimes make their own rules for how they do their work. And they do things different from how they train others to do the same work. I know because I’ve seen it happen with both people in recent weeks. Yet they have the nerve to reprimand someone who isn’t doing things the “right way.”

So while they’re pointing out the splinter in someone else’s eye, they’ve forgotten that they have a beam in their own eye. They’re blinded by that big splinter that’s been stuck in their eye for a while. It’s blurring their vision. Oh. I’m sure they thought they were helping her. But in fact, they made her feel very uncomfortable and more unsure of herself than she already is.

Is that how we should treat others?

I wonder how they would feel if someone called them and pointed out their mistakes. I did that recently. In fact. As part of my job, I was checking the first person’s work. I noticed that she did something different from the way I was trained. So I mentioned it to her. Oh. That’s how I do it. She said. Oh. I thought. Why are you changing the rules for yourself? But I didn’t push it any further. I just said ok and went about my business. Because I know that I sometimes do things outside the norm of my job. And if I were asked about it, I would have to give a reasonable explanation for why I do what I do. I just know that there are sometimes two ways to solve a problem. So I didn’t want to make a big deal of the situation.

But yet, this person is the one who trains all new employees. And I realized that she’s training new people to do the work different from how the rest of the team was trained. So who is right, and who is wrong?

Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. Matthew 7:12

In the past week, three different people have vented to me and then later apologized for it. I get it. I’ve been in a venting mood lately, too. I’m far too critical of others. I don’t agree with decisions being made at work. I’m frustrated. And I’ve just had it. 

I even said words to someone I love that I later regretted. I knew when the conversation started that it could go wrong if I let it. And I did. I took my words down an unneeded path. And he fell silent. I knew I was in the wrong. And I felt horrible about it. Because I knew if the situation were reversed, I would do the thing I was accusing him of doing. And he wasn’t even doing anything wrong.

It seems that I see everything wrong with the other person or situation and don’t stop to look for the good. The fact is that I’m being blinded by the beam that is in my own eye. It’s causing my vision to be skewed, and all I can focus on is everyone else’s imperfections. I guess I think their imperfections are worse than mine.

It’s easy to get frustrated with others. They can rub us the wrong way. Or insist on getting their way. They may demand more than one can give. They can push the wrong buttons on just the right day to make everything seem impossible.

And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye. Matthew 7:3-5

What faults do I overlook in my own life that I can easily spot in others? Perhaps, I should stop and perform surgery on my own judgmental attitude before I pretend to help others. Who says I’m right and they’re wrong.

Why do I tend to focus on the misdeeds and faults of others and not look at myself? I need to remember that when I point a finger of judgment at someone, there are three other fingers pointing back at me.

Our words are important.

If I had to eat my words, what flavor would I taste? Would they be sweet and satisfying or deadly poison? Would I ask for a second helping or choke on the first bite? I have to ask myself how my words affect my listeners. Do people come back to hear more, or do they avoid me like the plague?

I like to think that I treat myself well. Without going overboard, of course. But do I treat others the same way? Do I give others grace when they need it most? I read this week that the world needs more love and less judgment. I heartily agree.

So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11

Good and Kind

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Her name is Rosie. She is a 102 pound Mastiff/Lab mix. Yes. She’s a dog. A big dog. A good dog. A gentle dog. She’s a rescue. She has a checkered past due to no fault of her own. She feels very secure with who she is. She stands up for herself. She loves her people. She protects her people.

When she is at the dog park, she loves all the dogs and wants to run and play with them. She actually likes to chase the dogs who are chasing the balls. She runs to the gate to greet anyone who enters the park. She stands up for herself when other dogs are aggressive. She lets them know that she won’t be bullied. But she always has her eye on her people. She needs to know that they are there waiting for her. But she avoids them when they’re ready to leave, because she is never ready to leave.

When Rosie is in the yard at home, she feels responsible to protect her turf. She isn’t happy with the neighbor dogs walking on her sidewalk. They’re encroaching on her property and that shouldn’t happen. According to Rosie. When she is in the house, she sits in her chair and watches the activity in the front yard. She barks out a warning if anyone is invading her space. At times she jumps on the window to make sure the potential invaders know this isn’t a safe space for them.

Since Rosie has a habit of lunging for passersby on the sidewalk, I’ve taken to given her instructions before we walk out the front door. Once her leash is on, we stop at the door for a second to slow down and relax. I want Rosie to remember to treat others with respect. I want her to know that the neighbors and their pets aren’t trying to cause trouble for her. They are just passing by. Each time we walk out the door, I give her the same command. Let’s be good. Let’s be kind. I do that in hopes that she will be good and kind to those she may run into.

Do to others as you would like them to do to you. Luke 6:31

I think about how I treat others. Do I attempt to protect my turf at all costs? Do I warn others to back off if they get too close? In the name of safety, do I keep people at arms length? Do I build that invisible wall when others try to get too close? What am I afraid of?

If I were other people, would I like the way I treat them? Sometimes my bite may be worse than my bark. And sometimes my bark is downright brutal. Is it intentional? Do I think before I speak? Do I act without considering how the other person will feel?

I like to think that I’m comfortable in my own skin. So why do I get offended easily? Can I accept the same type of criticism that so easily flies out of my mouth? I wonder if others see me as kind and thoughtful. Or do they see me as the one who speaks before she thinks.

It’s natural to want to be treated kindly. One would think it is natural to treat others kindly in return. Not so. Feelings get hurt. Conversations get interrupted. Drivers are in a hurry or they’re too slow. That one coworker sits too close and talks too loud. Are we ever really happy?

Grace is a thing I’m learning. To stop and look a little closer at the situation. Perhaps the other person just received bad news and is in a hurry for all the right reasons. Perhaps the information I’ve been given is for my ears only. Perhaps my words were more offensive than I expected or planned. Perhaps I need to step back and slow down before I enter the world each morning. Perhaps I need to stop and remind myself of the command I give Rosie.

Let’s be good. Let’s be kind.

To Tell the Truth

~ mercyfortheday ~ Leave a comment

She’s new on the job. It’s her second week. She’s deep in the throes of training. She got the job because her friend works there. So she’s in. She’s in the cool girls group already. She didn’t have to earn a spot. She just showed up the first day and took her place. Oh. If only life was so easy for everyone.

But I’ve heard rumors. I’ve noticed things. She has a flaw that could prove very harmful down the road. Once she’s on her own doing this job, she’s going to have trouble if she doesn’t pay attention. Literally. She sits in training glued to her phone. Texting. Back and forth with I don’t know who. Sure. She has kids. But I’m sure she doesn’t micromanage them or their sitter all day every day. Does she? So then. Who is she texting? What is more important than paying attention and learning this new job? Beats me.

I mentioned this to a friend. They gave me a good word of advice. Someone needs to set her straight early on. If no one does, then she will think that what she’s doing is acceptable. I agree. I just don’t feel called to share that message with her. So I’m in a quandary. I want to say something to her. I really do. Well. I want someone to say something to her. Just not me. I’m not sure it’s my place to do so. How do I know if I should be the one to break the news that she’s setting herself up for trouble, when I have no authority to say those things?

Do to others as you would like them to do to you. Luke 6:31

Who wants to be the bearer of bad news? Who wants to give criticism to someone else, even if it is constructive? Who ever wants to provide feedback when it isn’t positive? Certainly not me.

But what if the feedback is the truth? Wouldn’t she want to hear it from someone who isn’t going to berate her? Wouldn’t she prefer it to come from a friendly face instead of from someone who might hold it against her for a very long time? Wouldn’t she rather know now than wait until she’s too far in to be told? Wouldn’t she wonder why no one ever said anything?

Wouldn’t I?

Oh. She might be grateful for the advice. Who knows. She may think I’m crazy. She may run to her group of cool girls and throw some shade my way. Should I care? I know those cool girls already talk about others. I’m sure I’m a regular topic of conversation with them.

I think of Jonah. He was in a similar predicament. Only his included eternal circumstances. God told Jonah to go to Nineveh and announce God’s judgment on the city. The people of Nineveh were wicked and had turned their backs on God. It was time to repent or die.

That would be a tough message to share with people you didn’t know. How would they respond? Would they kick him out or kill him?

Jonah didn’t want to share the bad news, so he ran in the opposite direction. No way was he going to tell an entire city that they were going to be destroyed. Not Jonah. He was asked to do a very difficult job, and he said no. He was reluctant to obey God, because he didn’t know how his message would be accepted. He also didn’t seem to mind if the city was destroyed or not.

Of course. He did end up going to Nineveh. He took the long way there. He did share God’s message. And the people of Nineveh repented and turned to God.

I have to ask myself. Do I care what happens to my coworker? Do I want her to succeed at her new job? Do I want what’s best for her, instead of what’s easy for me? How would I want to be treated if I were in her place?

Respect

~ mercyfortheday ~ Leave a comment

She doesn’t respect authority.  That’s all it comes down to.  She gets really mad if she doesn’t get her way.

She told me this.  She said I need to do as she does.  Here’s what you do.  She says.  She learned this lesson from someone years ago.  You just tell the one in authority what you’re going to do.  Don’t ask for their permission.  Just tell them and then just do it.  Sounds a little like a commercial, huh?  It’s the way she lives her life.  It’s the way she handles situations.  The thing is.  I call it disrespect.  How do you tell someone in authority over you what you’re going to do without asking permission?  How can someone get away with that?

I mean sure.  That’s what I’d like to do.  Just tell the authority figure what I’m going to do.  And then do it.  But I can’t.  Call me weak.  Call me a wimp.  But I have a thing about showing respect.  Even if I don’t want to.   It’s the right thing to do.

A friend reminded me of something very important.  This person doesn’t love Jesus.  So she doesn’t stop to think that her outlook on getting her own way is selfish.  It’s rude.  That’s how I described it.  Rude.  It made me madder the longer I thought about it.

She’s a grown woman.  A grandmother.  Why does she think she can always get her way?

The problem is.  She doesn’t realize that others say she’s difficult to work with.  She doesn’t have a good reputation.  She doesn’t know this.  She thinks she does a great job.  She wants a promotion.  Her boss doesn’t know how to deal with her.  He’s frustrated.  Doesn’t confront the issues that she causes.  Just pacifies her.  Just lets her do things her way.  She’s never been told that there are issues with her work ethic.

I really want to tell her what I think.  But then do I become just like her?  I don’t want that.  You see.  I like her.  I just don’t like what she stands for.  I still need to respect her.  I need to respect our differences.  Perhaps I should go boldly and gently there with her.  Talk to her.  Is it my place?  I’m not sure.

People who despise advice are asking for trouble; those who respect a command will succeed. Proverbs 13:13

I have to stop and consider the times I’m disrespectful.  How do I know I’m not just like her?  How can I make sure I’m not just like her?  I like to get my way.  I say unkind words.

I think of a time.  Not too long ago.  Words were said that offended me.  Words that sounded like a command when a command wasn’t necessary.  I said words back.  I couldn’t help myself.  That what I told myself.  But I knew I needed to stop my words.  I knew I needed to show respect to the authority figure.  Even though they weren’t being respectful to me.

I was offended recently.  Twice.  By the same person.  I was confused.  They had described me in words that I would never use to talk about myself.  That’s not how I see myself.  I don’t believe it, and I couldn’t understand why they were saying those words to me.  But it doesn’t matter why.  I wanted to say words back.  I wanted to tell that person what their weaknesses were.  But I couldn’t.  It wouldn’t be the right words to say.  I needed to respect them.  Not speak in anger.  It wasn’t my place to say those words.  It was really difficult to keep those words inside.  Because once words come out, they can never go away.  As much as we want them to.  They just can’t.

I know I need to pray for these people.  The ones who don’t show respect.  The ones who think they should get their way.  The ones who say unkind words to others.

I need to pray for myself.  I need to ask God to forgive me when I don’t show respect.  When I fight to get my way.  When I say unkind words.

The golden rule really is golden.  Treat others the way you want to be treated.