Rough Week

It was a rough week at work. One coworker just can’t quite get her act together. The job petrifies her. And it shows.  Her discomfort makes others uncomfortable. She’s slow to get her work done. She manages her time poorly. She avoids the hard stuff for as long as she can. And then she’s sweating bullets trying to get her work done accurately and on time. This week, her discomfort put someone else in a precarious position, and he snapped at her. She deserved it. Didn’t she? But she didn’t deserve the public dressing down.

Another coworker also had a tough week.  He comes in all cocky and macho. But his work habits speak of insecurity and lack of discipline. Oh. He’s quick to talk of his military combat experience. His PTSD. But his work ethic and dishonesty cause discomfort and lack of trust in his coworkers. He’s a tough one to work with. 

There’s another who struggles with insecurity. She doesn’t believe in herself enough to stand up for herself. She just doesn’t think to do that. She doesn’t even trust herself. She will point the finger of blame at someone else if she is challenged. Her lack of self belief causes others to doubt her.

I get it. It’s a tough job to do. You either get it or you don’t. And if you don’t, then where does that leave you? Not in a good place. That’s for sure.

I find myself torn down the middle. Wanting to snap at these people who are struggling. Yet at the same time, I remember when I was in their shoes. Not sure if I could cut it. Now that I know I can, I want to remember the struggle of beginners. Because it is a real thing. Struggling in a place where you’re not sure you belong can cut you to the core. I know.

But I find myself getting impatient. You can only claim the “new” card for so long. And I find myself wanting to say words to them that aren’t mine to say. I find myself caught in a place that I don’t want to be. I don’t want to be that person who snaps at others. I want to be helpful. and kind.


So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you. Deuteronomy 31:6


We all have issues that we try to keep hidden from others. Sometimes those hidden issues cause public problems. If they’re never addressed, trouble follows at every turn. It isn’t pretty.

Insecurity is a real thing. We all suffer from it. We try to hide it. We cover it up with false conceit. We over-exaggerate our words and actions. We tend to either talk too much or not at all when we’re insecure. We’re caught between a rock and a hard place.

Insecurity causes one to become defensive if they feel threatened. They may throw a friend under the bus when they’re just trying to protect themselves. Insecurity weakens your defenses to the point of not trusting yourself. 

I say go to God. Share your insecurities with him. Your doubts. Your fears. He knows them. He sees you. He hears your words and your thoughts. He loves you. He fights for you. He defends you. But in order to grow in your faith in God and in yourself, you must fight the fight. Defend yourself. Stand up for what you believe. Do your best. Don’t try to do things on your own. Depend on God for strength. He will provide.

Self Doubt

She doesn’t believe in herself. Oh. She’s never said those words. But she doesn’t have to. I hear it in the questions she asks. In the way she’s intimidated by those she thinks are better than her. In the way she stays silent and never speaks up for herself. In the way she thinks others don’t respect her opinions and suggestions. In the way she doubts her decisions and actions. 

She’s heard that the person who is 30 years younger than her is so smart. And how she has asked for extra work. So the older worker always worries that she’s on the chopping block. If she learns that she’s been mistakenly left off an email, she thinks it’s on purpose. As if she’s not worthy to be included.  As if she’s not part of the team. As if she’s not good enough.

When we got new business cards, her title was mistakenly left off her card. She thought it was intentional. But she was afraid to mention it, because what if someone meant to do that?  What if she’s not good enough for the title? Or to even have business cards?

I coach her. I encourage her. But I can’t fight all her battles. 

I know deep down she doesn’t really like the job. But she’s afraid to look for a new one. She struggles to find peace with where she is. And yet she can’t walk away.

She compares herself to others and finds herself coming up short. She tells herself that she would be the last one chosen for the team. She thinks no one would choose her. She doesn’t trust herself. With every little thing that goes wrong, she calls herself a failure.

No one at work has ever told her she’s not good enough. They don’t have to. She tells herself that all the time. She tells herself things about herself that aren’t true. She’s telling herself lies. Does that calm her fears or make them worse?  Sometimes we’re our own worst enemy. 

I can only imagine the conversations she has with herself. They are filled with negativity and doubt. Does she even trust herself? How could she? I wonder whose voice is in her head? Whose voice is she hearing? Someone from her past? Her mom or dad? A jealous friend or sibling? A controlling boss or teacher? Someone has told her she isn’t good enough. And she believes them.

Here is what I would like to say to her.  Believe in yourself. Trust your decisions. Think for yourself. Have an opinion and don’t be afraid to share it. Be proactive. Think outside the box.  Stand up for yourself. Admit your faults and weaknesses. But don’t make them more visible than your strengths. 

What I want to tell her is that God made her in His image. He made her to love herself. To view herself as he sees her. Oh. I know it’s hard to do. Imperfections. Failures. Disappointments. Unmet expectations. They’re hard on a fragile ego that has never been allowed to soar. So she thinks less of herself than she should. She needs to know the One who knows her and loves her as he created her. Not as she sees herself.

In the midst of her fears and flaws and failures, God knows her and loves her. He knows the good she’s capable of doing. He knows her better than she knows herself. He says study to show yourself approved. Lean not on your own understanding. 

Why does it seem easier to believe satan’s lies over God’s truth?


This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
Joshua 1:9


You Know Me Better (Stars Go Dim)

Can’t wrap my mind around
The way You see me like gold
You stand in my mess
And call out the best in me
When my mind gets crowded
With the lies that I’m told
You tell me the truth
And show me that You believe in me
You believe in me

You know me as honest
You know me as good
You know me the way
That I wish I could
You know me worthy
You know me loved
You know me better

When I don’t know where to find me
Show me where to start
Show me who You are
So I know who I am
‘Cause You know who I am

You know me as honest
You know me as good
You know me the way
That I wish I could
You know me worthy
You know me loved
You know me better

I am who You say I am
I am who You say I am
Your word will never change
I am who You say I am

You know me as honest
You know me as good
You know me the way
That I wish I could
You know me worthy
You know me loved
You know me better
Oh, You know, You know

You know me completely
You know me true
You know me as someone
Who looks like You
You know me perfect
You know me strong
You know me better

I am who You say I am
I am who You say I am
Your word will never change
I am who You say I am