I was in the grocery store, and I was in a hurry. I was trying to get all my errands run before my appointment, and I was rushing. Oh, I know it was all my fault, but here’s how the grocery shopping went. I rushed through the store, gathering up the items I needed. Then I went to stand in line, and there were three people in front of me with only one cashier working.

This grocery store is known for slow cashiers and even slower baggers. But there I was standing in line behind two people who were waiting for the one at the cashier to finish, and that transaction was taking awhile. I’m not sure why, but they were going slow. I dared not look at the clock because I didn’t know want to know what time it was. I knew my appointment was fast approaching, But here I stood with a cart full of groceries, and I was determined to pay for them and take them home with me.

First cart in line went through with a few items, and they went slowly. As the couple in front of me was checking out, I saw the cashier put a package of meat under the counter. Toward the end of scanning their groceries, the woman customer left the line and went to get a new package of meat. I was annoyed, to say the least. I knew I had little time, and here I was waiting for somebody to get another item. They had picked up one that had an expired date on it and didn’t want to buy expired meat.

As I stood there waiting impatiently, I reminded myself that I was the Christian here. I needed to represent Christ, just as he would have lived. But in that moment, I wasn’t feeling holy. I wanted to become like Jesus as he threw the the money changers out of the temple. I wanted to act in a holy rage and tell them I was in a hurry, and could they please move along. I wanted them to respect my schedule and my needs, but I stood there quietly. Yep, I drummed my fingers on the cart. I tried not to look at them, because I knew I wouldn’t have a happy look. I had an attitude problem. Finally, the woman reappeared with a new package of meat. They got checked out, and then it was my turn to have my groceries scanned.

I emptied my cart as fast as I could, and the cashier began scanning the items. He picked up a can of green beans that was dented, badly dented. He asked me if I wanted the dented can. Yes. I said I don’t have time to get another can. And he said, I’ll give them to you for 50 cents or for $1. Which would you prefer? I don’t care. So he settled on $1.

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And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Philippians 4:8

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The Bagger was slow as always, taking his sweet time. I finally had to help him put the groceries in my cart because he was just dawdling. I don’t know what goes through his mind. He never has a sense of urgency about doing his job. As we were putting the last items in the cart, he almost forgot one bag. So I had to hurry and put it in my cart. I needed to leave. I rushed to my car and unloaded all my groceries. As I pulled away from the grocery store, I realized I still had 30 minutes before I needed to get to the next appointment. I was going to make it on time. Why was I even worried? Why did I let myself get into such a stew over nothing?

When the spirit or the heart is the stage whereon sin is enacted, it is a spiritual sin; such are all impure thoughts, vile affections, and desires which do not break forth into overt action but are nonetheless real acts of the inner man. As with all sin, Satan is the great, unseen instigator of every sin of the heart. Keep a close watch on your heart.

~William Gurnall, The Christian in Complete Armour

My bad attitude might not have been obvious to the people standing near me in that grocery store, but I knew that God had seen it. I knew that he was probably shaking his head knowing I had plenty of time to get to my next appointment. And then once I got to my destination, I would have to sit in my car for 15 minutes before going into the office. Otherwise I would have been waiting an extra long time in the doctor’s office.

And I just have to ask, why do I do this to myself? Why do I get all in a tizzy for no reason? I don’t know. It’s just the way I’m made. Probably nobody else in history has this same problem, but there I am being so human. And all the while knowing I’m a Christian and I don’t know if these other people are, and they were kind. The woman was apologetic for having to leave the line and get a new item. Yet I was frustrated. Thank goodness I didn’t actually say anything, because there was no need. I knew there was no need, but in my frustration I had plenty of unkind thoughts swirling in my head.

I can’t even say, Father forgive me, for I know not what I do, because I knew what I was doing. I knew my attitude was wrong. I knew my thinking was wrong, and I thought it anyway. So still I must say, Father, forgive me, especially when I know I’m wrong. Help me to be more like you in my words, in my actions, in my thoughts, in my attitudes, in the way I approach people. Help me to show kindness. Even if someone isn’t doing a good job. I can help them. I can be a good example.
Help me, Father, I need you.

I need Thee every hour,
  Most gracious Lord;
No tender voice like Thine
  Can peace afford.

I need Thee, oh, I need Thee;
  Every hour I need Thee;
Oh, bless me now, my Savior!
    I come to Thee.

I need Thee every hour,
  Stay Thou near by;
Temptations lose their power
  When Thou art nigh.

I need Thee every hour,
  In joy or pain;
Come quickly and abide,
  Or life is vain.

I need Thee every hour,
  Teach me Thy will;
And Thy rich promises
  In me fulfill.

I need Thee every hour,
  Most Holy One;
Oh, make me Thine indeed,
  Thou blessed Son.

~Annie Sherwood Hawkes/Robert Lowry