I used to think that I should be close to perfect. At this age. I should have learned everything I need to know. I should have made all the mistakes I’m going to make. I should have made all the friends I would ever need. I should have saved all the money I need for retirement. I should have lost all the weight I need to lose. I should be in the best shape of my life. I should know when to speak and when to be silent.
But I have found that isn’t always the case.
There are still so many things I just don’t know. I don’t know how to make a good pie crust. I don’t know how to knit. I don’t know how to build a fire. I don’t know the Bible well enough. I still make mistakes. So many mistakes. I don’t know enough people. I made a new friend this year. An old friend may be coming back into the picture. There is no such thing as too many friends. There is also no such thing as saving too much for retirement. I keep saving with the hopes that I don’t outlive my money. I’ve known for years there are two types of people. Those who eat to live and those who live to eat. I confess. I live to eat. Food is my friend. One of my best friends. I’m always thinking about my next meal. My doctor asks about my exercise program. Oh. That’s a thing? I stretch every morning. She doesn’t laugh. I find I use my words as weapons too often. I’m not always silent when I should be. I have said some words that I never should have said. I have not said some words I should have said.
Yes. Even at this age, I have much to learn. I have much to do. I still have a lot to say. I’m always on the lookout for friends. I still need to save more money. I eat healthy. I should move more. And not sit all day.
I’ve found, though, that others have begun to see me as old. But I don’t see that. I’m older. But I’m not old. Age is all in the mind. I’ve heard. I’m told I’m forgetful. I’m told I’m set in my ways. I’m told I turn up the tv volume too loud. I’m told I look too young to have so much gray hair.
I renewed my driver’s license this month. I changed some information on it. I updated my address. I changed my weight. Yes. I did. And I changed my hair color. All on my driver’s license. The old has gone. The new is here. I might as well be honest about what I know others see in me.
Anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! 2 Corinthians 5:17
One thing that has remained the same this year is God’s love for me. He never gives up on me. He challenges me to do better. To be better. To see others the way he sees them. To treat others the way he would treat them. He reminds me to be kind to others. And to myself. He reminds me to listen to the words I’m saying as if someone were saying them to me. How would I feel? He is the bread of life. With him, I will never go hungry. He tells me I need to spend more time in His Word. Reading. Studying. Memorizing. Getting to know Him even better. He is the one true friend who is always faithful. Always there when I need him. Always loves me. No matter what. He knows everything about me. My past. My present. My future. And he still loves me.
Observations of the year past. Overall, it’s been a great year. Gone by far too fast. I’m looking forward to what the new year holds.