I saw the text early that morning. Someone is out sick today. I need you to fill in for her. Immediately I was annoyed. My work day was all planned. I didn’t want to disrupt my plans. I had lots to do and little time. Now I would have less time. I had a bad attitude before I ever left the house. I prayed on the drive to work that God would change my attitude. If I needed help, I would hope someone would step up for me. Why am I not willing to do the same?
Later after the work was distributed, I realized I wouldn’t have to fill in for my sick coworker. Then I was flooded with relief. And guilt. I had just gotten a reprieve and I had trouble accepting it. Now I wanted to help. But I couldn’t. What was wrong with me? I now had the day ahead of me. My schedule was intact. Why wasn’t I happy with that? It’s what I wanted.
I have to remind myself that I am working for God. And no one else. I need to focus on pleasing him. No one else.
I received news that I didn’t want to hear. More attitude adjustment needed. Where he sends, I go. When he says stay, I stay. When he says trust, I surrender.
I overheard the conversation. He was asked to do something. He answered honestly. I don’t want to, but I will. Perhaps I should take his cue.
I hear two or three of them laughing and talking. Sounds like a good time. A sorority I wasn’t invited to join. Disappointed. Annoyed. Jealous. But why? Why do I care if I’m not included? They could be up to no good. They could be plotting revenge. Or they could actually be working. Why do I concern myself with issues that aren’t mine?
Do everything without complaining and arguing. Philippians 2:14
I read about the Israelites. God had just delivered them from slavery in Egypt. He parted the waters of the Red Sea and walked them across dry land to the other side. He killed those pursuing them. Three days into their journey they start complaining. How soon they forgot the miracles God had just performed to save their lives. To give them freedom. To take them to their promised home.
They continued to grumble and complain. They said they would prefer to go back to Egypt and be slaves again. Later, they said they would prefer to die in the desert than be killed by their unknown enemies. So that’s what happened. God gave them what they wanted. He allowed them to die in the desert. Never seeing his promise fulfilled. Why? Because they were a stubborn, grumbling nation. They took their eyes off of God and thought more of themselves. They failed to focus on his promises. They sought their own remedy. So God left them to themselves.
I must remember to keep my eyes on God. I must remember to listen to Him. Read his word. Trust him. Obey him. His promises are true. He doesn’t lie.
I really do want to please God. I want to be more like him. Every day. Why is it so hard? Why do I feel I’m always falling short? My attitude stinks. My actions speak louder than my words. I complain. I compare. I judge. I want to do right. I want to be a good example to those around me. I want to be a better person. But I can’t do it on my own. I’m such a failure on my own. I need God’s help. Please God, be merciful to me a sinner.