complaints

Massage Therapy

~ mercyfortheday ~ Leave a comment

I am lying face down on the table with a sheet over me.  I know my shoulders are tight and will need the strength of his hands to loosen the muscles.  I also know that he’s loosened them in the past, so I have complete faith that this massage will be no different.  I haven’t seen him in a couple of months, due to no fault of my own.  He has a habit of calling in sick on Mondays.  And it always seems to be the Monday I am scheduled to meet with him. I try not to schedule these appointments on Mondays, but it can’t always be helped.

Oh.  I’ve broken up with him a couple of times over the years.  But I keep running back to him, because I get the desired results from his touch.  My tightened muscles loosen from the bruising manipulation of his fingers.  Sure.  Pain is sometimes involved.  I’m ok with that.  If the deep tissue massage works out all the tightness and eases the lack of movement in my shoulders and neck, then yes, I’m ok with a little pain. 

As he works on my legs and thighs, he is amazed that I can’t feel any pain.  He can tell that the work he is doing is showing results in my loosened muscles and unstuck fascia.  But I can’t always tell a difference.  Sure.  I sometimes hear a popping sound.  And other times I sense a calming feeling in a once tight muscle.  But as he’s working on each area, he can feel the difference even if I can’t.

I schedule time with this man each month. Ninety minutes per month. That’s all the time I’m allotted. By the end of the month, I’m beginning to feel the strain and tightness in my muscles. I know the time is drawing near for my next meeting. I always look forward to these times. That’s the reason I get frustrated when he suddenly cancels the appointment.

Oh. I’m not impressed with the man personally. He isn’t handsome, but he doesn’t have to be. He plays music of his liking. And it’s always the same music every month. I don’t even like the music, and I recognize the songs each time I hear them. It isn’t meditative, soothing instrumental music that you would associate with a massage. It’s annoying music. He also talks during our time together. I don’t need conversation when I’m trying to relax.

Enjoy what you have rather than desiring what you don’t have. Just dreaming about nice things is meaningless—like chasing the wind. Ecclesiastes 6:9

Another thing. Almost every time I visit him, the person at the front desk dares to ask me the same question. Are you sixty-five? NO. I’m not. Apparently, I look that age, or people don’t understand that you don’t have to be at that age to have gray hair and saggy skin. They don’t need to know how close I’m getting to it, but please. Show some respect. And put a tracker into your scheduling system that automatically gives a discount once a person qualifies for it.

But it’s the touch of his strong hands that bring me back to him. And there are times that he extends our time together. Thirty extra minutes of massage? Count me in. Especially since I’ve already paid.

Oh. I was unfaithful last month. I met with someone new. I’ve been told by those close to me that he isn’t trustworthy, and I should find someone who is more reliable. But the new one I visited didn’t quite fit what I’m looking for. So I’ve crossed her off my list. I may keep searching for a backup, but I imagine it would be practically impossible to find anyone better than this man.

I know. This is a first world problem, and it isn’t even really a problem. I don’t live a spoiled life. I don’t live in luxury. I don’t buy designer clothes or possessions. I live a pretty simple life. I live a good life. But yet. I find things to complain about.

There are issues I could focus on and make myself sick with worry. I’ve had trouble in my life. But for this moment, I’m thankful for my imperfect but good life. Things could be better, but they could always be worse. After all, as it says in Ecclesiastes, everything is meaningless.

I think it’s time to count my blessings rather than focus on the petty annoyances that really don’t matter. Life is too good to dwell on unnecessary, trivial matters. It may not always be this way, so I think I’ll focus on the good and be grateful for what God has given me.

Attitude Adjustment

~ mercyfortheday ~ Leave a comment

I saw the text early that morning. Someone is out sick today. I need you to fill in for her.  Immediately I was annoyed. My work day was all planned. I didn’t want to disrupt my plans. I had lots to do and little time. Now I would have less time. I had a bad attitude before I ever left the house. I prayed on the drive to work that God would change my attitude. If I needed help, I would hope someone would step up for me. Why am I not willing to do the same?

Later after the work was distributed, I realized I wouldn’t have to fill in for my sick coworker. Then I was flooded with relief. And guilt. I had just gotten a reprieve and I had trouble accepting it. Now I wanted to help. But I couldn’t. What was wrong with me? I now had the day ahead of me. My schedule was intact. Why wasn’t I happy with that? It’s what I wanted.

I have to remind myself that I am working for God. And no one else. I need to focus on pleasing him. No one else.

I received news that I didn’t want to hear. More attitude adjustment needed. Where he sends, I go. When he says stay, I stay. When he says trust, I surrender.

I overheard the conversation. He was asked to do something. He answered honestly. I don’t want to, but I will. Perhaps I should take his cue.

I hear two or three of them laughing and talking. Sounds like a good time.  A sorority I wasn’t invited to join. Disappointed. Annoyed. Jealous. But why? Why do I care if I’m not included? They could be up to no good. They could be plotting revenge. Or they could actually be working. Why do I concern myself with issues that aren’t mine?

Do everything without complaining and arguing. Philippians 2:14

I read about the Israelites. God had just delivered them from slavery in Egypt. He parted the waters of the Red Sea and walked them across dry land to the other side. He killed those pursuing them. Three days into their journey they start complaining. How soon they forgot the miracles God had just performed to save their lives. To give them freedom. To take them to their promised home.

They continued to grumble and complain. They said they would prefer to go back to Egypt and be slaves again. Later, they said they would prefer to die in the desert than be killed by their unknown enemies. So that’s what happened. God gave them what they wanted. He allowed them to die in the desert. Never seeing his promise fulfilled. Why? Because they were a stubborn, grumbling nation. They took their eyes off of God and thought more of themselves. They failed to focus on his promises. They sought their own remedy. So God left them to themselves.

I must remember to keep my eyes on God. I must remember to listen to Him. Read his word. Trust him. Obey him. His promises are true. He doesn’t lie.

I really do want to please God. I want to be more like him. Every day. Why is it so hard? Why do I feel I’m always falling short? My attitude stinks. My actions speak louder than my words. I complain. I compare. I judge. I want to do right. I want to be a good example to those around me. I want to be a better person. But I can’t do it on my own. I’m such a failure on my own. I need God’s help. Please God, be merciful to me a sinner.