It started with an unexpected job layoff. Followed by 5 months of unemployment. Then a new job. Starting over is always tough.  This job in particular was tough. 

Through the tough times, and there have been many, God has never left my side. He has walked with me. At times he has carried me when my strength was gone. What I know is that he alone is God. He loves me even when I feel unlovely. Even when I doubt my ability. He is with me.

I have this unguided thought that at this age I should be close to perfect. But sadly, that isn’t so. Daily I’m faced with my faults and failures. I have to ask God daily for strength and wisdom.

This past year has been one of the toughest I’ve faced. I’ve asked God for three things each day. Empower me. Enable me. Equip me.

And he has.

I’ve never been one to speak up when I disagree with decisions at work. But somehow now I do. I’ve finally realized that my silence is agreement. If I don’t speak up, then others will assume that I will go along with their decision. Other times, I feel free to ask those hard questions. Or bring up topics that need to be discussed. As I have asked God to empower me, he has removed my fear of what others think of me. He has given me boldness to confront situations that I would usually ignore. I find that others respect my boldness in a way that I never imagined.

I find myself to be a mentor to coworkers who are struggling with the job. They come to me for help with uncertainties. They trust me. They know I won’t judge them for being insecure or for asking a multitude of questions. I asked God to enable me to fulfill his will for me in this place, and he is doing it. He gives me the strength to face my responsibilities in a way I never thought possible.

I find I am more dependent on God than I have ever been in my life. Daily I ask him to equip me for the work he has laid out for me. I know I can’t do it alone and I need his help like I never needed it before. God has given me the ability I need to do my job and to do it well. He equips me for the responsibilities for each day.

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And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. Philippians 1:6

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The life of obedience isn’t easy or comfortable. It’s a daily choice to walk in step with the Master Teacher. It doesn’t mean that I’ll quote Scripture to someone every day. It may mean that more often than not, I’m living out Scripture. 

There have been times during the past several months that I’ve wanted to run the other way. But in order for me to follow God’s will, I knew I must continue on the path he placed me. I’ve wanted to run. I’ve wanted to quit. But more than all, I know that I want to be true to God’s calling on my life. So I’ve stayed put. And I’ve learned that with God in control, I am able to do exceedingly more than I thought possible.

Annie Downs says to say yes to the open door. Say yes to the situations that stretch you and scare you and ask you to be a better you than you think you can be. Say yes to the movement that will only come once.

So that’s what I’ve done. That’s what I’m doing. I’m saying yes to the situations that make me uncomfortable. And I’ve found that with God’s help I can do them. I’ve learned that God actually does what he says he will do. He doesn’t lie. I just have to let go and trust him. He is faithful. And I must be faithful.

He started something good
And I’m gonna believe it
He started something good
And He’s gonna complete it
So I’ll celebrate the truth
His work in me ain’t through
I’m just unfinished

–Mandisa