Powerful Weakling

I started a new job recently.  And honestly.  I am struggling.  Some days I think I can do the job.  Other days, I’m filled with doubt.  The days and weeks have been filled with training.  So much training.  Then slowly I’m getting work assignments with lots of hand holding.  At some point, I will be on my own.  I’ll be juggling many tasks and clients and deadlines.  I don’t know how others do it.  But they seem to.  And I think if they can do it, surely I can.  Can’t I?

Then I remember.  God provided this job.  He wouldn’t give me a gift that I can’t do.  Right?  And then I remember.  No.  I can’t do it on my own.  In my weakness, I need to trust Him.  I need to lean on Him.  I need to call on His name every day and trust that He will equip me for that day.  Oh.  I try not to look ahead.  That’s when I become fearful.  How can I do all that I’ll be assigned to do in the days ahead.  It’s then I remember that He gives mercy just for today.  I need to focus on today and the tasks for this day only.

I must remember that He said I am equipped for the job.  He will help me.  Oh.  Trust is easier said than done.  When in a tight spot, trust is just a word.  Not an act.  But when I act on that word.  When I trust God, I know all things are possible.  I know that in my weakness, God’s power will calm me.  And guide me through the anxious moments.

There is no match for the power of Christ.


My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.  2 Corinthians 12:9


Oh.  It sounds like an oxymoron.  Strength in weakness.  How can I be strong when I feel so weak?  How can I be powerful when I feel powerless?  How can I succeed when I feel like a failure?  How can I act confident when I feel insecure?

Why do I want something other than what I’ve been given?  When I know who the Giver is.  And I know the gift is for this time in my life.  Why do I struggle with this gift?  It wasn’t quite what I expected, but it’s what I’ve been handed.  So I must go forward and make each day count.

Oh.  The struggle is real.

He says.  You must trust me, but I will let you fight.  I say.  Show me your power, lest I get lost in my weakness.

There is One.  One who has conquered that fear.  One who has overcome failure.  One who has choked insecurity.  One who has all power.  He even conquered death.  I want Him on my team.  Always.  If I’m choosing teams, I choose His.  Why?  Who doesn’t want a miracle maker on their team?  Who doesn’t want an encourager?  A helper.  I choose the army of God.

Father, thank you for going before me to open doors.  Thank you for staying with me to hold me steady.  Thank you for going behind me to protect me. You surround me with your love and goodness.  Your faithfulness is ever present.  Your mercy reaches down and calms my fears.  Yours is the power and glory forever.  Amen.

The Good Worker

I started a new job.  There are weeks and weeks of training.  My head is full of information and knowledge.  I wonder how I will ever remember everything once I start doing the work.  It is a scary thought.  What if I fail?  What if I can’t do the job after all the training that was put into me?  What if I can’t cut it?

There are so many instructions.  So many steps.  So many complicated steps.  To everything.  Nothing is simple.  Nothing is quick.  Copy this.  Encrypt that.  Make notes of this.  Learn three new systems.  Track your time.  There is so much to learn.  Oh.  The work isn’t really difficult.  It’s just a very manual process that needs to be automated.

I shared my concerns with a friend.  I asked her to pray.  She hears from God.  His message was loud and clear.

It will settle.  You are well equipped.  He assists you and never leaves your side.  Deep enjoyment is forthcoming.

That was the promise.  How could I doubt?  I realize I don’t doubt God.  I doubt myself.  But in doubting myself, am I doubting God?  So many times I have gone back to read that promise.  To steady my nerves.  To gain confidence.  To face the fear.  I pray for God’s mercies each day as I walk into work.  I know God is with me.  With each task I struggle with or accomplish, God is there.  He has not left my side.


What if the Lord had not been on our side?  Psalm 124:1


I have to remember my time of unemployment.  When I prayed for a job.  When I prayed that God would provide the right job for me.  I felt such peace about this one.  This place.  I knew it was where I should be.  I am so thankful to be there.  The company is great.  The people are great.  Now I need to feel great about it.

The blessings of God are not trouble free. The answers to prayer are part of our path to eternity. The work of God in our lives is a work in progress. The ups and downs of daily life are blessings and obstacles that put us on a path to God.  Success is as much a curse as it is a blessing.  Success brings challenges that failure never thought of.

I know God can run my life much better than I can.  His plans are perfect.  I need to trust Him more than I trust myself.  Because right now.  Right now I wonder if I can do the job that he has provided.  I need God’s strength and help right now just as much as I needed His provision when I was looking for a job.  The truth is.  I always need God’s help.  There’s nothing I can do on my own that is done better without God’s help.

I need to keep my focus on my God.  And His strength.  My work has just begun there.  His work continues in my life.  As long as I have breath.  For everything I need, He will provide.