Is God Enough

I was unemployed.  My husband was unemployed.  He was working 4 part-time jobs.  I was looking.  We had known that his job was being eliminated, but my job cut came out of the blue.  Totally unexpected.  We had a small emergency savings account.  Both of our cars were paid off.  But still we had some debt.  We figured out a way to make our finances work, but things were tight.

After 3 months, I got a job.  Not the job I wanted, but it was a job.  I was making less than half of what I had been making.  He was making less money, as well. We’ve never lived an extravagant lifestyle, but we quickly learned to live an even simpler life.  Gone were the days of spending money on whatever we wanted.  We had just enough money for our very tight budget.

On Fridays, we splurged and went out for pizza.  A new pizza shop had opened up near our house, and they made the best cracker crust pizza.  I love it when the edge of a good thin crust just crackles and falls apart on the first bite. We would pick up the pizza and take it to a park.  As we ate at a picnic table, we watched young families play on the swings. Their lives seemed so carefree, when mine felt like it had fallen apart. Then we would walk over to the ice cream shop and get an ice cream cone. The butterscotch swirl was to die for! We were now ready for the weekend.

One thing that was always at the back of my mind during this period was “what if the best of our life has already happened.  What if we never make as much money as we had been making before we lost our jobs. What if we can never retire.”  What if. What if. What if.  Could I be content with that? Could I be content with life as it was? Could I quit comparing what I didn’t have to what others had?

When everything we hold dear is threatened or gone, is God enough?  Is God enough to give me a joyful life?  A joyful attitude even if I didn’t know what the future looked like. When our comfort zone is no longer comfortable, is God enough?

Can I be content when life doesn’t give me everything I want? Can I continue to dream and be content, even if those dreams don’t come true?  They weren’t big dreams, just dreams of more.

If I say God is number one in my life, do I mean it when he’s all I have?  When everything else I’ve always wanted or had is gone, is God enough?

Is God enough only when our dreams come true?  When we get that awesome job?  When we have a certain amount of money in the bank?  When we are finally able to buy our dream home?  When we have that baby we’ve always wanted?  When our debts are paid off?  When our health is good?  When our children make us proud?

What if those things never happen?

Will I allow God to fill the one big void in my life, when I’ve been filling it with so many other distractions? For so many years.

Today I think back on those days with fond memories. I don’t know what the future holds, but I know that if  when I go through another dark time that God will be with me.  Even if life is bad, God is still good.  Difficult circumstances don’t make me run from God.  They make me run faster toward him.

I learned that God is enough.  He is my pride and joy.  He is the one I confide in, the one I trust completely.  We’ve developed a close relationship, God and me.  We walk and talk together each day. Sometimes his voice is loud and clear. Other times, I have to listen closely to hear it. If he’s all I have, if everything and everyone else I hold dear are gone, he will still be with me.  Through thick and thin.  Through good times and bad.  He is enough.

My source of hope is Christ alone. The song “Bring the Rain”  by MercyMe says it perfectly.

Selfless Attitude

I’ve been thinking about Jesus’ attitude leading up to his crucifixion.  He had so many opportunities to let the situation get the best of him.  But he didn’t.  He always had the right attitude.

He knew who he was
He knew whose he was
He knew what he was made to do
His purpose was set in stone

He was God
Yet he was man
He was tempted
Just as we are
Yet he never gave in

He could have resisted
He could have fought it
He could have turned his back and walked away

But he didn’t

Instead, he suffered for us
He died for us
He rose from the dead for us
He ascended to heaven for us

He had the right attitude at all times
He didn’t let circumstances get the best of him

When he was betrayed by Judas’ kiss
When he was arrested in the garden
When he was disowned by Peter
When he was questioned by Pontius Pilate
When he was whipped
When he was ridiculed

When the crown of thorns sank into his skull
When the first nail pierced his skin
When the knife was plunged into his side
When they gave him the bitter drink

He knew who he was
He knew whose he was
He knew what he was made to do
His purpose was set in stone

He was the victor
He rose from the dead
He walked out of the sealed tomb
He spoke to Mary Magdalene
He appeared before the disciples
He shared truth with two on the road to Emmaeus
He ascended to heaven
He sits at the right hand of God the Father
He waits for us
He conquered




Rain Down Your Mercies

It was a tough time for me.  I had a bully boss.  As I drove to work each day, the anxious feelings would begin. Monday through Friday, I had to face the man.  The only time I felt relief was on Saturday, because I knew I didn’t have to deal with him again for two more days. On Sunday, I started dreading Monday.  It wasn’t a good way to live.

As I drove to work each day, I would listen to Brian Doerksen’s “You Shine” CD.  His songs spoke to my hurting heart.  I realized I needed to find a Scripture that I could turn to during this difficult time.  Lamentations 3:22-23 became my lifeline.

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning.  Great is your faithfulness.”

I realized that I needed God’s mercies every day.  I would call out to Him each morning for that day’s mercies.  Yesterday’s mercies were gone.  At times, it was hourly cries for mercy.  Other times, it was minute by minute.

When the cares of the day get in the way of praising you

When the joy is all gone, and I can’t see the dawn of a brand new day

When my thoughts are consumed with uncertainty, fear, despair and gloom

I need your sweet touch with new mercies You give just for today

Rain down your mercies

Each day I awake, I know you will take me through the day

With your mercy and grace and your loving embrace, you’ll lead the way

Though I don’t understand your ways and your plans, I have new hope

For you’ll walk by my side and my path you will guide

I trust you, Lord

God always came through during that difficult time.  He always provided the peace and calm that I needed when I asked.  He never let me down.  It was only through His grace that I was able to make it through that very difficult time.

Mercy for the day.




2017 marks the fourth year I have chosen a word for the year.  Poise.  Simplify.  Share.  Worthy.

  1. The word was poise. Poise:  Graceful and elegant bearing in a person.  Grace, gracefulness, elegance, balance, control. 

My dad was placed in hospice in February 2014.  I realized then that by the end of the year, I would lose my first parent.  What actually happened was that my Dad got better for a couple of months.  Then one Sunday morning I got a phone call from my sister telling me that my Mom had unexpectedly passed away in her sleep.  What!?  Mother is gone?  But, Daddy….  After hearing that he had lost his wife of almost 60 years, he followed her to heaven 11 days later.  Breathe.  Grieve.  Celebrate.  Remember.  Grace.  Poise.

3 months later, we sold the family farm.  More memories.  More letting go.  Neighbors.  Farmers.  Auction.  Bittersweet.  Grace.  Control.  Balance.  Poise.

God is good.  He led my family through that very difficult time.  We knew He was with us, providing the advisers we needed as we let go.  Moving to a new phase in our lives and in our family.  Life can change so suddenly.  God is still good and God is always good.

  1. The word was simplify. Simplify: Make something simpler or easier to do or understand.  To make less complex or complicated.

My husband and I owned a duplex.  We lived in one half and rented out the other half.  We were landlords.  We didn’t want to be landlords.  We decided it was time to pare down and own only one home.  We sold both houses and bought one.  We no longer had to manage two yards or expenses for two homes.  We no longer had to find new tenants when one would move.

We moved to one home with a smaller, more manageable yard.  We felt liberated.  We felt so at home in our new house, 80’s wallpaper and all.  Life felt so much simpler.

  1. The word was share. Share: have a portion of something with another or others.  Split, divide, go halves on.

My husband and I had multiple opportunities to share with others.  We shared meals with old and new friends in our home.  We shared financial gifts with individuals and families when God directed us.  We shared purses with victims of domestic violence.  We helped provide winter coats for children who didn’t have one.  We shared our home with a young family for a few days.  We shared words of wisdom with friends when God led us.  We opened our home to a dog that needed rescued from a bad situation.

  1. The word is worthy. Worthy: Having or showing the qualities or abilities that merit recognition in a specified way.  Good and deserving respect, praise or attention.

My Bible study group studied Ephesians.  Chapter 4, verse 1 says “live a life worthy of the calling you have received.”  The word “worthy” jumped out at me as I was praying and searching for my one word for this year.  I knew it was the word as soon as I read it, but I needed confirmation.  As I studied the list of other words I was considering, I knew that God had led me to my word.  My one word.  Worthy.  I have no idea how He will use it in my life this year.  Just as he has done the past 3 years, I know He will use it to draw me closer to Him.  To deepen our relationship.

Two weeks after I chose my word, my lesson in “worthy” began.  I was talking with someone who is sometimes known to be “difficult”.  She made an unexpected comment that really took my breath away.  When she said it, I sat motionless.  Not wanting to show my true feelings.  You see, I am one who needs time to process words and ideas and thoughts thrown at me.  I needed to step back and think about what she was actually trying to say to me.  Was there a hidden message?  Was she hinting at something that someone else had been saying about me?  Was it just a random thought she threw out for no reason?  I have no idea.  But what I do know is that she planted a seed of doubt and fear in me.  She made me feel unworthy.

After I claimed the word “worthy”, an old hymn came to mind.


Unworthy am I of the grace that He gave,
Unworthy to hold to His hand;
Amazed that a King would reach down to a slave,
This love I cannot understand.

Unworthy, unworthy, a beggar;
In bondage and alone;
But He made me worthy and now by His grace,
His mercy has made me His own.

My sorrow and sickness laid stripes on His back,
My sins caused the blood that was shed;
My faults and my failures have woven a crown
Of thorns, that He wore on His head.

Unworthy am I of the glory to come,
Unworthy with angels to sing;
I thrill just to know that He loved me so much,
A pauper, I walk with the King

I know there will be people who make me feel unworthy.  But I also know that One person loved me enough to have His Son die on the Cross for me.  He died so my sins could be forgiven.  I don’t always feel worthy of His love, but His love makes me worthy.