love

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

~ mercyfortheday ~ Leave a comment

Oh. The preacher so loved by so many has caused such a stir in recent weeks. He gave advice to a grandmother, and it hasn’t gone over well with others. Oh. It was a message he gave a few months ago that has suddenly come to light. And now it’s created chaos in the Christian community. He has been canceled by some and applauded by others. Many have definite opinions about the subject, while others choose to stay silent. 

The issue at hand is whether it is a sin for a Bible believing person to attend a gay wedding. Should they go or should they stay home? For some, it’s a quandary they hoped to never face. Until it’s staring them in the face. And then a difficult decision must be made. And a tough conversation must take place. Regardless of which side they choose to take, words must be said. Love and compassion must be shared.

How does a Christian respond when asked to do something that goes against their biblical beliefs? Is it ever acceptable to participate in or applaud an activity they believe goes directly against God’s will? Is it acceptable to attend an event in order to show “Christian love”? How do you not support one activity but still show love? When is it acceptable to disapprove another person’s choices without fracturing the relationship? Is it even possible? Can both sides be happy and stay connected?

I’ve read multiple articles and listened to podcasts of Christian leaders who’ve begun to address this pastor’s advice. Someone has asked how to stand their ground and show love at the same time. Is it possible? Should the one who chooses to stand for their biblical beliefs have to tiptoe around the one offending the Bible? 

One writer suggested that, as followers of Christ, we should stop to ask ourselves “What do I know for sure?” when faced with such a defining dilemma. What do I know for sure about loving others unconditionally? What do I know for sure about following Christ’s commands? What do I know for sure about being a faithful Christian witness to those in need of a Savior? What do I know for sure about sin? Another writer said that unconditional love is not unconditional acceptance of someone else’s choices and decisions. 

Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 1 Corinthians 13:6

Should we attend a gay wedding if we don’t support that ideology? Isn’t biblical marriage a covenant between a man and a woman? And witnesses must be present to sign the legal documents. By sitting in attendance at such an event, are we not helping to seal the covenant being signed by these two? Isn’t eating the cake and raising a toast to the couple an endorsement of their union? By offering a gift, are we not celebrating them?

If it’s true that marriage is God’s plan for a man and woman to create the next generation, then it isn’t possible for two people of the same sex to procreate. Since a union between two of the same sex isn’t a marriage in God’s eyes, how can it be a marriage in a believer’s eyes?

One well-known pastor says an invitation to a same sex wedding is a theological test for a believer. How would you respond to that test?

I know. I’m asking too many questions about a delicate matter. But when we’re faced with a difficult moral and spiritual decision, all factors must be laid on the table. We can’t just continue to sweep the dirt under the rug, for soon the rug is dirty. So, I’ll continue on with more questions and thoughts.

How many have ever sat in attendance of two people marrying when they believed the couple was making a huge mistake, even if one is male and one is female? Is there a difference in attending that wedding versus attending a ceremony for two men or two women? If the act violates our conscience, is it a sin to attend regardless of who is getting married? If we wait for the red flag of resistance to fade to white, that means we’ve surrendered our beliefs and standards. 

Are we applauding sin with our attendance? Are we succumbing to today’s culture if we attend? Do we have a better witness by attending or staying home? If we choose to attend, does the couple know our convictions? Do they know that we love them unconditionally? If we stay away, what is our message to them?

Peter preached salvation to the Gentiles. He got called out by Jewish leaders for entering a Gentile home. But he went there to preach salvation, not to applaud their sinful behavior. He didn’t walk in the Gentile door to witness a binding contract or to approve of sin. He was there to witness sinners being saved. And he rejoiced in their salvation, not their sin.

You can read the story about Peter in Acts 10-11.

Jesus invited himself to eat dinner at the home of Zacchaeus, the tax collector who heavily taxed people and pocketed some of the money. Because of Jesus’ love and nonjudgmental actions toward this man he noticed sitting in a tree, Zacchaeus repented of his sins and became a follower of Christ. Not only did he repent, but he paid back everyone he had wrongfully overtaxed. And he gave half of his wealth to the poor. Jesus didn’t encourage him to steal more or applaud his illegal gain of wealth.

You can read the story of Zacchaeus in Luke 19:1-10.

Jesus went into the Temple and saw people buying and selling animals for sacrifice. He turned over the tables of those merchants and kicked them out the Temple. They were desecrating the place reserved for worshipping and offering sacrifices to God. They were not welcome to desecrate the God’s holy place. 

Jesus entered the Temple and began to drive out all the people buying and selling animals for sacrifice. He knocked over the tables of the money changers and the chairs of those selling doves. He said to them, “The Scriptures declare, ‘My Temple will be called a house of prayer,’ but you have turned it into a den of thieves!” Matthew 21:12-13

Then there’s the story of the prodigal son. He had asked his father for his inheritance, which was freely given to him. Then he left home and squandered all his wealth on careless living. Once he realized his sad, penniless situation, he went home to his father and repented. The father gladly welcomed him home with outstretched arms, not because he approved his son’s poor choices but because his son was repenting and asking for forgiveness. 

You can read the story of the prodigal son in Luke 15:11-32.

We should consider our motives for being in mixed company. And by mixed company, I mean attending events that applaud and approve those who reject biblical teaching. What is our purpose for being with those who are seeking our approval for their deliberate sins? Our words and actions should not show approval for their lifestyle. Do they know our convictions on the matter? If our actions match the actions of nonbelievers. If our approval is given for unbiblical actions. If our actions speak louder than our words, are we really representing Christ?

Our Christian faith must show consistency. We can’t claim one belief one day and then go against it the next. We can’t condone one sin while calling out another. Yes. Jesus did eat with sinners, but not while they were blatantly acting in sin. Zacchaeus stopped sinning once he ate with Jesus. He repented of his sin of stealing and returned the money. In the parables of Jesus, he said to rejoice when sinners repent. He didn’t tell us to celebrate with them when they continued in their sinful ways.

As Christians, we must be kind and compassionate to those choosing to disobey God’s commands. We can love someone without loving or affirming their behavior. We must be courageous enough to draw a line in the sand when faced with a decision that goes against our Christian convictions. Scripture tells us not to condone sin, for we too will stand in judgment some day.

Be on guard. Stand firm in the faith. Be courageous. Be strong. And do everything with love. 1 Corinthians 16:13-14

True Love

~ mercyfortheday ~ Leave a comment

They were told their marriage wouldn’t last. They were too old and set in their ways. He was twenty-six. She was twenty-three. Old in the eyes of some, but to others they were still wet behind the ears. Heeding no one’s advice, they tied the knot in front of close family in her parents’ living room. Her father, who said he would never give away his daughters, escorted her down the stairs to the waiting groom. She took the young man’s hand and pledged her life to his. With rings on their fingers, they were bound by law, love and life.

Oh. They didn’t wait long to start their family. Some thought they rushed into parenthood, but when the stars align there’s no going back. And after fifteen years of marriage, they were a family of nine. Oh yes. People would stop and count to see how many kids were in the station wagon. No. They weren’t Catholic. And no. Minivans weren’t invented yet.

Theirs was a solid marriage built on their love for God and each other. Early in their marriage, they committed their lives and marriage to God and never looked back. They were faithful church attenders, tithers, and Bible readers. They were also faithful to each other.

There was never any discussion about divorce or separation. Theirs was a love that would last through the ages of time. They laughed and joked. They cried and mourned. Theirs was a steadfast commitment. Oh. Someone once pulled a prank and called the house phone suggesting he was involved with another woman. He laughed it off. She did not. Their love was not in the market for competition.

As they celebrated their golden anniversary, she said she thought only old people were married for fifty years. She still saw herself as a young woman, but her mind and body were betraying her. Little did she know that in ten short years, she would walk the streets of gold and meet her Savior face to face. Days later, he would join his wife in the city eternal.

They aged. Their minds and memories faded. At times, she would forget he was her husband. He never forgot. Near the end, he commented that she was the most precious woman in the world. And as he was placed on hospice, he said he would wait for her. When asked if he got tired of waiting, he said no, not for her. And wait he did. She passed unexpectedly in her sleep, and he breathed his last breath eleven days later.

Their final caregivers saw a lasting love and commitment between the two. And they held a deep admiration for this couple who missed their sixty year anniversary by less than ninety days. True love and commitment are an example we all should strive for in our marriages. Through thick and thin. In sickness and in health. For richer or for poorer. Till death do us part. That was the commitment they had made years earlier, and that commitment never faded. That commitment was never questioned.

When I think of the memories I most cherish, I think of my parents and their love for each other. Their marriage wasn’t perfect, but it was centered on their love of God and each other and their family.

Let Me Count the Ways

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A famous poem begins with a standout line. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. The Bible tells us the different ways we must love God. Let’s count those ways.

You must love the Lord your God. Loving God means we put him first. We are satisfied in our relationship with him. God is our first priority. Our love for God must be undivided. We willingly obey God. After all, we were created to be one with God. To be for him. Not against him. But in order to love God, we have to know him. And in order to know God, we must spend time with him.

Loving God means that we believe his word. His word is true and everlasting. He will not fail us. When we love God, we trust him. Loving God brings thankfulness and praise for him. When we love God, we must put him first with our heart, our soul, our strength and our mind. And we must love our neighbors as we love ourselves.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart. Our hearts are beating vessels. They provide life on a beat by beat basis. If our heart stops beating, our life ends. So, loving God is the heartbeat of our life. It keeps us going. Our love for God continues as does a beating heart. And when the heart has problems, surgery may be required. Open heart surgery. And that can be life giving. Life renewing. Life sustaining. Loving the Lord your God may require surgery with precision to keep that heart beating in rhythm with him.

Loving God shows that we want to be in rhythm with him, keeping the beat in tune with him. Keeping our step in sync with him. One heartbeat after another in perfect rhythm, walking with God. Walking with God in perfect rhythm is love. That only happens when we have spent time in open heart surgery with God. Having him prune out the dead branches. The underperforming vines of our lives. We need this continual pruning. Our hearts must be strong following God’s will, walking in sync with him.

Love the Lord your God with all your soul. Our soul was made for eternity. The soul is the eternal embodiment of our human lives, and our soul is the part of us that will live eternally. We have the choice of where our soul lives. Heaven or hell. So to love the Lord our God with all our soul means we have made that eternal choice. We have chosen to live in eternity with God. That is the choice that we continue to make day after day after day. Because yes, each day we do have a choice of how we’re going to live. We must daily ask ourselves. Am I going to live for God or am I going to live against God. We can’t have it both ways.

Our soul is our sustaining breath of life, and it does not die. So once we move from this life into the next, our souls will continue to live in eternity with God if we have chosen to love and follow him. Because it’s not until we breathe our last breath on this earth that we move to our eternal destination. Heaven should be our only goal. Hell should never be our choice. But people choose it every day, perhaps unknowingly. But we have a choice. We can choose to live with God in eternity, where our soul will thrive in perfect beauty as we walk the streets of gold. Or our soul will be in eternal torment, because we have turned our back on the love of God. We repay Jesus Christ for His sacrificial death on the cross by giving Him our hearts, our souls, our minds and our strength. And that reward is our soul will be in eternity with him.

Love the Lord your God with all your strength. Our bodies are made for strength. If we work out our muscles, they will strengthen. That strength allows a person to lift heavy objects and perform great feats. But the process of building strength takes time and perseverance. Strength making takes discipline and hard work. Muscles must endure repetitious movements in order to strengthen.

When I think of strength, I think of power and endurance. Strength gives hope to the weak and power to the powerless. Strength allows one to hold on when they feel they’re at the end of their rope. Strength is only available through endurance, perseverance and struggles. It doesn’t just come naturally. Strength comes from putting in the time building up that reserve. Walking through difficult times. The athlete, or weekend warrior, becomes strong through repetitive motions through a routine that continually extends the ability of certain muscles, and strengthens and builds and empowers. Strength isn’t built by doing nothing.

When we say love the Lord our God with all our strength, it means that we have endured. We have endured, tough times. Uncertainties. Difficulties. Over time, we’ve learned that our strength is in the Lord, and that we can’t be strong alone. Our strength does not come from ourselves. It comes from God and God alone. And that strength flows over into love. Love for the one who was with us during that difficult time. Love for the one who empowered us to make tough decisions. Walk through flames of fire. Fight the battle between good and evil. God’s love is strength. So, in turn, he provides strength to those who love him.

And that strengthening love flows into other areas of our lives. When we must persevere in difficult trials and situations, or unexpected turns of life, the strength comes when our reserves are filled. Those times that we must dip into that strength shows the power available at just the moment we need it. That strength is everlasting. We must build up our reserves. We must put put forth the work that brings strength, that builds strength. Because in those tough times it will be that strengthening love that sustains us. If we’re empty. If we’re weak. Our love will grow cold.

You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind. And, love your neighbor as yourself. Luke 10:27

Love the Lord your God with all your mind. Our mind is a powerful thing. At times, we think it knows no ends. Because we can remember many things. We can learn many things. We can think many things. At times, we’re easily distracted and other times our mind can be laser focused. We choose what we put into our mind. We make choices daily with the type of music we listen to. The shows that are streaming on our TV and movies that we choose to watch. We allow ideas to be placed into our mind by the books we read. And by the conversations we have. By the people we associate with. Our minds are filled with words and thoughts and dreams and goals.

We can control, to a certain degree, what goes into our minds. We have to know when to shut off evil influences, and we need to choose to fill our mind with godly influences, godly conversations, godly examples. We have that choice, but not always. Sometimes we run into situations where we can’t plan ahead, and we face evil influences. We don’t have to continue those. We can limit our interactions with ungodly influences. If those ungodly influences trigger our mind to sin and to dwell on inappropriate behavior or thoughts. If those ungodly books or movies or websites, or people influence us. We must stand for truth, because those evil influences do just as they say. They influence our hearts and minds. And that puts our soul in dangerous territory.

Love your neighbor as yourself. Love does no wrong to others. How often do I wrong myself? Not very often. You say. So why do we do wrong to others? Why? This is not a romantic love. This is a godly, eternal love for our neighbor. Loving God is loving your neighbor. If we love God, it will change the way we love others. Loving God helps us to forgive those who have wronged us. Our love for God moves us to show grace to those who have offended us. Loving God is loving others, whether we realize it or not. Our love for God will naturally flow over into love for our neighbors, our coworkers, our family, and even to the unlovable.

Loving others means that we love those we disagree with. Whether it’s social issues, political issues, family choices or lifestyles. Loving God means that we love everyone, as God has loved us. Because we too can be very disagreeable at times. We too can be unlovable at times. We don’t have to agree with someone in order to love them. We don’t have to be best friends with everyone. But we can choose to show godly love to everyone. Because everyone was made in God’s image. We are his image bearers. Let’s live like it.

Breakfast is Served

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Here’s what I wonder.

If your friend denied knowing you not once but three times, would you forgive him? If your friend hurt someone coming to arrest you for a crime you didn’t commit, would you heal the officer your friend injured and rebuke your friend? If you found your friend sleeping at the hour you needed him most, would you still trust him? If you had known your friend was going to desert you that very night, would you still call him friend? If that same friend later fervently promised that he loved you after all that, would you believe him?

Here’s the real story.

Early in the evening as Jesus was arrested, Peter fought back by cutting off the ear of one of the men arresting him. As Jesus was taken away, Peter followed from a distance. He stood in the courtyard watching from afar as the one he loved was tried for a crime he didn’t commit. Did he step up as a witness for his friend? Not at all. When asked if he knew the man, he denied it. He was asked three times by three different people. Each time, he gave the same answer. No. I don’t know him.

Then a rooster crowed.

If he was willing to fight for Jesus when he was being arrested, why not fight for him after the arrest? Did fear grip his heart so completely that he wasn’t thinking straight? Was he only thinking of himself? Trying to save his own life? Why wasn’t Jesus’ life worth saving? Jesus was being tried for a crime he didn’t commit. Peter knew that. He could have defended this man called King of the Jews. But if the King’s life was in danger, what did that say for his followers? It would be a death sentence to stand up for truth. Wouldn’t it? Is that why Peter denied knowing him? He was afraid for his life?

The miracle is that Jesus was raised from death to life. Oh sure. He was nailed to a cross and died. But on the third day in the tomb, the breath of life was breathed into him. The tomb where he was buried was empty. He had unfinished business to attend to. And rightly so.

And early one morning, Peter and some other disciples were fishing. Jesus came along and started a fire on the shore. He cooked breakfast for them. He was waiting for his friends. His followers. For those who believed in him. For those who knew him. For those who loved him.

But wait. He cooked breakfast for Peter after what Peter had done to him? How could he? Why would he willingly get up early and serve breakfast to a man who denied even knowing him? And he wasn’t just any man. He was a close friend. They had spent many hours together.

So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. John 13:34

Is this how I would treat a close friend who denied knowing me? Someone who lied about our relationship?

Would I go out of my way to serve a friend who had wronged me? Would I still call him friend? Or would I write him off? Forget him? How would I want my friend to treat me if I had done the same to him?

Am I willing to spend time with someone who has betrayed me? Or thinks differently than I do? If Jesus was willing and able to forgive Peter and still love him, can’t I do the same for you? Can you do the same for me?

And at that fateful fireside breakfast, Peter’s relationship with Jesus was restored. As they and the other disciples ate their fish and bread, Jesus asked Peter a question. Not once, but three times. Peter, do you love me? And each time, Peter said yes. But oh. Peter knew the significance of being asked three times. He thought back to another question he was asked three times as Jesus was being assaulted. You know him, don’t you? And he answered no all three times.

But this time was different, Peter was committed to Jesus at all costs. Peter’s relationship with Jesus was restored as they ate their breakfast by the sea. Jesus challenged him to love. and love deeply.

Do you accept the challenge to love deeply? Love the unloveable. Love the lonely. The hurting. Love those who don’t love you. Love those who have mistreated you. Those who are different from you. Are you willing? At all costs?

Boiling Point

~ mercyfortheday ~ Leave a comment

It’s easy to get frustrated these days. Annoyed over the most petty things. But emotions have been building for weeks now, and I’ve reached the boiling point. When for once, you want something for nothing and you’re asked to give even more. Enough.

There I said it.

Coworkers asked for a lifeline, but were instead given what feels like a noose. Perhaps I exaggerate, but feeling are raw in the moment.

We asked for mercy. We need some down time, we said. Flex time. So we can have a few hours that we would normally be working to just not work. Sure. They said. That sounds like a great idea. We wanted something for nothing at a time when all we’re doing is giving. But no.

They said sure. Take extra hours off each week. But make them up. You can even work on Saturday and Sunday to make up the extra hours. Go ahead.

Why did a good thing all of a sudden feel like a punch to the gut? Why, in a time when people are suffering. When those working need some time off, we’re slammed with extra work and lack of understanding.

Don’t get me wrong. We’re thankful to be working. To still be employed. We’re just asking for a break before we’re slammed with work and can’t take time off.

We’re all frustrated. Getting more so by the day. But who cares? It seems they’re only hearing the words being said and not the words that aren’t. It would be helpful at a time like this for those in authority to really listen. Sure. They make their own hours. The company is their responsibility. Their personal investment is on the line. They say we’re doing great work. But work some more. They say. And when things get back to normal, we’ll be swamped with a lot more work.

No rest for the weary.

I know I rant. I apologize.

Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 1 Corinthians 13:5

I was so close to taking my frustrations out on those I love. In these moments, even petty annoyances seem like mountains. I was even close to tears. I knew I needed to step back and assess the situation. I knew I needed to go to the One who provides calm when the storm is raging. I opened the Word and searched for words to sooth a frustrated heart.

I read multiple verses until I found the one that stuck a dagger in my heart. The verse that told me I was in the wrong. The verse told me that if I proceeded with using strong words when words of kindness and grace were needed, I was at risk of sinning. So I stepped back. My heart fell on its knees and repented. My soul needs a scrubbing in days like these. I realized my soul covering needs to be replaced every day, because the filter gets full of unwanted sin germs and can no longer filter.

Oh. I’ve lived through worse times. Unemployment. Death of loved ones. So I know I’ll get through this. I know I’ll come out having learned lessons I didn’t know I needed to learn. But in the thick of it, the lessons are hard. And at times, my heart feels hard.

Just when I thought I was doing fine keeping it together during this pandemic, the truth comes out. And I realize it’s uglier than I want to admit. Soul work is hard even when life is all you want it to be. Even harder when life is tough. But I know that God is good even when life seems unfair. And I’ll chalk up this frustrating moment as a life lesson that I don’t want to repeat. Because words once said can’t be unsaid.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Will Rogers