Infatuation

She has her eye on him.  She’s interested.  When she first met him, she thought he was arrogant.  Now she says it’s just his personality.  She’s willing to accept the arrogance, because it may serve her purpose.  Oh.  How our standards change when we see we can use the person who at first glance was unappealing.  When we see that we might benefit from their flaws, we’re willing to accept them.

She’s doing her best to catch his attention.  And keep it.  She wants his eyes on her.  She wants him to find her invaluable.  She makes sure he is aware of everything she is doing.  And she’s doing her best.  She’s putting her best foot forward.  Everything she does is with him in mind.  Hoping to win his favor.  Hoping to earn his trust.  Hoping to show that she’s better than what others say she is.

She’s playing nice.  Right now.  She’s proving herself.  She knows her stuff.  She’s good at what she does.  Perhaps she’s done this before.  She thinks this move will put her in the good graces of those who are most powerful.  She thinks this move will set her up for success.

Oh.  This is not a romantic relationship she’s seeking.  This is business.  Strictly business.

Is she being foolish?  Is she doing the right thing?  Will this act really work? Only time will tell.


I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God who will not tolerate your affection for any other gods.  Exodus 20:5


If only she would work this hard to please another man.  The one who knows her by name.  The one who created her.  The one who sees all she does.  Hears every word she says.  Reads every thought she thinks.  If only she would do her best to win His favor.

The man who will judge her on that most important day.  Judgment day.  He’s the only one she needs to please.  Doesn’t she know this?  I’m not saying she doesn’t try to please Him.  But she sure is spending a lot of time and effort trying to please someone who may never notice her.  And then where will she be?  Will she look for someone new?  When there’s someone who’s always been there for her?  Waiting for her to notice him.  To seek his approval.  He already loves her.  He’s waiting in the wings for her to reach out to him.  He wants her affection and love.  He wants her full attention.

No.  He’s not waiting in the wings.  He’s standing in full view.  For her to see.  She just needs to focus on Him.  But He’s waiting.  And He’ll continue to wait.  Patiently.  Oh so patiently.  I hope she notices Him before it’s too late.

She says she knows Him.  But I wonder.  I wonder if she works as hard to please Him as she is working to please this new man.

I’m not her judge.  I’m not her jury.  I want the best for her.  God’s best.  Heaven knows, I’m just like her.  I see myself in her.  I try to get others to notice me.  I try to please others when I want them to do something for me.  I try to outshine others if I think it will advance my cause.   I try to be everything and do everything to please others.  Why don’t I do that for Him?

Why don’t I think of Him first when I put on my pleasing routine?  Why don’t I go to him first when I’m hurting or afraid?  Why don’t I allow His patience to soothe and comfort me when I’m waiting impatiently?  Why don’t I put Him first?  Why don’t I?

Respect

She doesn’t respect authority.  That’s all it comes down to.  She gets really mad if she doesn’t get her way.

She told me this.  She said I need to do as she does.  Here’s what you do.  She says.  She learned this lesson from someone years ago.  You just tell the one in authority what you’re going to do.  Don’t ask for their permission.  Just tell them and then just do it.  Sounds a little like a commercial, huh?  It’s the way she lives her life.  It’s the way she handles situations.  The thing is.  I call it disrespect.  How do you tell someone in authority over you what you’re going to do without asking permission?  How can someone get away with that?

I mean sure.  That’s what I’d like to do.  Just tell the authority figure what I’m going to do.  And then do it.  But I can’t.  Call me weak.  Call me a wimp.  But I have a thing about showing respect.  Even if I don’t want to.   It’s the right thing to do.

A friend reminded me of something very important.  This person doesn’t love Jesus.  So she doesn’t stop to think that her outlook on getting her own way is selfish.  It’s rude.  That’s how I described it.  Rude.  It made me madder the longer I thought about it.

She’s a grown woman.  A grandmother.  Why does she think she can always get her way?

The problem is.  She doesn’t realize that others say she’s difficult to work with.  She doesn’t have a good reputation.  She doesn’t know this.  She thinks she does a great job.  She wants a promotion.  Her boss doesn’t know how to deal with her.  He’s frustrated.  Doesn’t confront the issues that she causes.  Just pacifies her.  Just lets her do things her way.  She’s never been told that there are issues with her work ethic.

I really want to tell her what I think.  But then do I become just like her?  I don’t want that.  You see.  I like her.  I just don’t like what she stands for.  I still need to respect her.  I need to respect our differences.  Perhaps I should go boldly and gently there with her.  Talk to her.  Is it my place?  I’m not sure.


People who despise advice are asking for trouble; those who respect a command will succeed. Proverbs 13:13


I have to stop and consider the times I’m disrespectful.  How do I know I’m not just like her?  How can I make sure I’m not just like her?  I like to get my way.  I say unkind words.

I think of a time.  Not too long ago.  Words were said that offended me.  Words that sounded like a command when a command wasn’t necessary.  I said words back.  I couldn’t help myself.  That what I told myself.  But I knew I needed to stop my words.  I knew I needed to show respect to the authority figure.  Even though they weren’t being respectful to me.

I was offended recently.  Twice.  By the same person.  I was confused.  They had described me in words that I would never use to talk about myself.  That’s not how I see myself.  I don’t believe it, and I couldn’t understand why they were saying those words to me.  But it doesn’t matter why.  I wanted to say words back.  I wanted to tell that person what their weaknesses were.  But I couldn’t.  It wouldn’t be the right words to say.  I needed to respect them.  Not speak in anger.  It wasn’t my place to say those words.  It was really difficult to keep those words inside.  Because once words come out, they can never go away.  As much as we want them to.  They just can’t.

I know I need to pray for these people.  The ones who don’t show respect.  The ones who think they should get their way.  The ones who say unkind words to others.

I need to pray for myself.  I need to ask God to forgive me when I don’t show respect.  When I fight to get my way.  When I say unkind words.

The golden rule really is golden.  Treat others the way you want to be treated.

One More Day

One more day is all I ask.

They died over three years ago.  Eleven days apart.  My parents.  They are in my dreams many nights.  I look forward to seeing them there.  They’re well and happy.  In my dreams.

Since their loss, I think about them often.  I’ve finally realized what I would like to have from them.  One day.  Just one more day with them.  And I get to choose the day.

I can see the day.  In my mind.  It’s a day from my childhood.  Not one specific day.  But a day that was like any other.  It would be a summer day.  My dad, the farmer, and my brothers would be working in the fields.  On their tractors with the hot sun beating down on them.  They would take a fresh jug of ice water with them to parch the thirst that was sure to come as they worked in the heat.

My mom, my sisters and I would pack a lunch for the family.  We would fry hamburgers or make bologna salad sandwiches.  Wrap them in wax paper.  Grab a couple bags of chips, doritos or fritos.  Pull out a box of twinkies, ding dongs or chocodiles.  Nothing fancy.  Fill a refresher jug of water.  And we would hit the road.  The country roads.

We would drive to the field one of the guys would be working in and park under a shade tree.  As the tractors pulled up, we would pop down the back door of the station wagon.

We would thank God and then eat that simple meal.  Together.  Just our family.  Not a special day.   Just a typical summer day.  I didn’t know it then.  But it was the life.  A simple, quiet unassuming life.  Not an easy life.  Not for my parents.  But it was the life.

Oh, the questions I would ask them.  If I had only known that I would lose them.  Oh.  I knew I would lose them.  But I wasn’t prepared.  I wasn’t prepared for all the questions that would fill my mind.  Questions  I never got around to asking.  I wasn’t prepared for all the stories I wanted to hear.  The lessons they had learned.  The do-overs they wanted.  Maybe even the regrets. The stories of their childhoods.  I’ll never hear all those stories now.  I’ll never have all my questions answered.


And He walks with me
And He talks with me
And He tells me I am His own
And the joy we share as we tarry there
None other has ever known

~~Ed Bruce


I realize now that there’s someone else I need to spend more time with.  There’s someone who calls for me to get to know him.  To ask those questions.  To hear his thoughts.  To read his Word.  While there’s still time.  Because there still is time.  Right now.

He calls me to spend each day with him.  He calls my name.  Sometimes I’m too busy.  I just don’t take time for him.  Sometimes I ignore him.  Oh.  He’ll still be here when I’m ready.  That’s what I tell myself.

He’s calling me to get to know him more.  To spend valuable time with him.  Each day.  Not just when I feel like it.  Not just when I need something.  But to spend time building a closer relationship with Him.

I’d like to imagine a day with him.  First, I would read his love letter.  He wrote a book telling me of his never ending love.  His perfect plans.  His gift of sacrifice.  I would thank him for those things.  His love.  His plans.  His sacrifice.  I would ask for wisdom.  I would listen for him to speak to me.  I would be silent and just listen.

I would walk among nature.  I would see the trees and flowers, fruits and vegetables.  The beauty that he created.  I would feel the warmth of the sun and the cool breeze.  I would see the stars and moon later in the evening.  Knowing he created this for me.

It’s not too late to spend more time with my Maker. The lover of my soul. The forgiver of my sins.  The God of the universe.

One more day.  One more day is all I ask.

She is His

She was belittled by her boss.  She was discussed by groups of people.  She was mentioned to the CEO.  She was on the list of those whose jobs would be eliminated.

The thing about her.  God speaks to her and through her.  He gives her words of encouragement and truth to share with those who need it.  Specific people.  Specific words.

She’s lost five precious, wanted babies.  She doesn’t know her father.  Her mother rejects her.  Says she looks like him.  Her mother overlooks her and her children’s birthdays.  Year after year.  No time for those with her DNA.

Through God’s great love and watchful eye, he provided a loving stepfather who adopted her and called her his own.  He gave her his name.  His godly mother loved her as her own daughter.  She taught her of God’s love.

She’s known disappointment.  Loss.  Rejection.  Heartache.  Through it all, she has also known God’s faithfulness, love and goodness.

The road to wholeness hasn’t been easy.  She’s a work in progress.  But when she gets alone with God, he meets her there.  In her closet.  Words in her journal.  He speaks truth to her.  And what he speaks happens.  Exactly as he has told her.  You see.  He’s God.  He doesn’t lie.  She knows this.  And she believes and waits for his will to happen.  Just as he says.


My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand.       John 10:27-28


 

 

I’ve seen her journals.  I’ve read the words.  Highlighted in pink and yellow.  Earmarked pages with special instructions and promises straight from God.   Those journals are her lifeline to God.  He meets her on those pages.  He seeks her out and gives her words of truth.  Sometimes instructions that must be followed through.  Other times, faithful promises to soothe a weary soul.  Always words of truth and love.  Words of prophecy.

She wrote words of hope and mercy to the boss who belittled her.  She wrote words of comfort and peace to the one whose sister was dying.  She wrote words of promise and protection when her job was in jeopardy.  These words were all from God.  To her.  God was faithful.  His words were fulfilled.  In time.  All of them.

She keeps listening.  She keeps writing.  She keeps trusting.

The funny thing is.  God’s love language to her is in Thee and Thou.  Whenst and Whilst.  He speaks in King James English.

She is appointed.  She is anointed.  She is His.